Atilola’s Diary: That wedding dress should be mine (Edition 2)


Photo: Scared face

Diary columnist on YNaija.

I am still waiting for my ideal man. I hope guys that I have rejected in the past don’t keep getting married and leaving me single.

Hey peeps, guess who’s in the house and back from her emotional downturn? I know you want to know wasup with Bola. Well, I have not laid my eyes on him since then. He called and tried to talk about the incident two nights later, but I told him it was a mistake and we should just act like it never happened. He pinged me for a while, but I kept answering with monosyllables or completely ignored him. I don’t think I want to be involved in flings that have no future.

I was checking my Facebook page last Saturday and stumbled on a picture that looked like Peter. He was wearing a suit, standing by a woman in a wedding dress. ‘Oh no! Peter can’t be married, it must be his sister,’ I tried to convince myself’. I immediately browsed through his Facebook page and saw the congratulatory messages. ‘You look good together’, ‘You are perfect for each other’, ‘A union made in heaven’, etc. Those were the kinds of statement I read.

Peter? Same Peter? The same one I ignored and refused to see because he was becoming an annoying pest (excuse the tautology, I just need to emphasize) and started coming to my house without notice? He finally got a lady to stand his annoyingness and settle with him for life? Wow! I wondered how possible it is for people like Peter to marry very easily. So, it might have been me in that picture if I didn’t reject his advances? I wondered, ‘Is this good or bad?’ Hmm, I guess good. I shouldn’t settle for less just because I want a band around my fourth finger.

This reminded me of Deji, my very close friend who got married two years ago. What was unusual is that he was and is still a very young guy and most guys don’t usually get married at the age he did.

Deji sent me the link to his wedding site. On visiting it, I saw something very interesting and shocking. On the ‘how we met’ segment, he said his wife-to-be was the first person to see his first employment letter (obviously to make the story sound very romantic). Immediately, I read this, I was like ‘What?!?’ I was so shocked because I was actually the first person to see the so-called letter, I could even remember the salary structure and the excitement on his face.

Lesson learnt: Never believe all you see on wedding sites, some people exaggerate or lie just to spice up their originally boring story. All they want is your ‘Awww, that’s so romantic’ statements.

The reason I actually saw the letter first was that Deji was in love with me and was planning to propose to me. I was unaware of this, which is very strange as my ‘toaster radar’ is always very strong. He was trying to make up his mind between me and his fiancée, who was just a friend then (this, I found out from him about a year later, when he proposed to her). But he asked me a test question. My answer revealed my lack of interest in a relationship with him and that’s how I got kicked off the wagon, leaving just the wife-to-be. If it had happened otherwise, I’d either have married my very young friend two years ago or I’d have broken his heart four years ago, thereby losing our friendship. I also would never have written this column, as I’d be a mother to a son and currently heavily pregnant, like his wife is. That is to say, I am satisfied with the way things went.

Well, trust Kiki, after seeing the story on the site, I called Deji ASAP and asked why he lied. He then said it was a mistake. This was my reply to him:

You have to do one of these:

1. Go back to the site and tell the truth, say ‘your fiancée is the second person that saw the letter, the first person was Kiki, the initial person you were going to propose to.’

2. You can leave the statement that way, but change the picture and the name to mine, just to preserve the truth. The implication of this is that you will have to marry me on that day.

3. You can leave it that way and let me come and disrupt your wedding day when it gets to the ‘How they met’ segment.


To say that he was scared after reading the options I sent to him, by email, would be an understatement. He has always had a knack for taking me serious when I am joking. I had to calm him down and put his mind at rest.

Eventually, I did not go for his wedding because I was just too tired on that day, and he did not forgive me. I also did not go for his son’s naming ceremony eighteen months later. He found that even harder to forgive. I made sure I went a week later and dropped a gift for the baby.

And yes, I do not like his wife. I felt she conned my friend into getting married too early by making him fall for her. She’s even older than him with one year.

Or am I just being jealous? I don’t think so joo. I am still waiting for my ideal man. I hope guys that I have rejected in the past don’t keep getting married and leaving me single.


Read the fascinating first edition here:

Editor’s note: Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

One comment

  1. Lmao!!! You and me both babes! Almost every other day I get wedding invites on FB from former toasters, or worse still a toaster that I was still "forming" for as at last month puts up a dp of him and his wife at their trad! Or my best male friend who used to be in love with me called me last week to tell me he and his babe are getting married in a couple of months….. and I look at all thes pictures and I'm thinking I couldve been any of these brides. Yeah and just like ur Deji I had this Deji too who's an annoying pest but what I really couldn't stand was the way he smells, Deji called me in March to tell me he still loves me and I still said NO, well Deji got married last Thursday and I was thinking, doesn't she smell what I smelt? Lol. Anyways I wish everyone well. I refuse to settle just cos everyone is getting married. My best friend is getting married in a couple of months to someone she admitted to me she doesn't really like, but she's worried about being single forever. Well for me I'm more focused about taking my career to great heights and adding value to myself and making money and God-willing MY husband will come and we will wed, not because everyone around me is doing so but because I know that I can love that one man against all odds (age, finances, declining libido etc)….So Help Me God.

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