Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Your parents named you fortune and you changed it to Mhizfortune?
You think your village people don’t understand English right? ok?

— ZEELUX (@David_Zeelux) September 25, 2019

Ugly people hardly change their profile picture because they know how the suffered to look fine in the picture???

— Rex_highstar✪ (@manlike_rex) September 25, 2019

All my Ex’s are somewhere Enjoying sex with the styles I taught them. Very ungrateful fellows! ??‍

— Call me Kelechi † (@_igwilo_) September 25, 2019

When I was much younger, I used to find those “we’d see her in Shiloh” jokes funny but now they irritate me whenever I see someone use them

I won’t second guess cutting you off if I see you saying this to a lady, especially if your reason is that she curved you

— AJ | Adonai (@mrmanhere_) September 25, 2019

If you buy a Nigeria product and see “Newly Improved” written on it, just know they have reduce the quality. It’s no longer gonna taste as good as it used to or be as effective as it was ? .

— E-zrael Ani (@EzraelAni) September 25, 2019

Me watching my bills share my salary pic.twitter.com/yTQQ3KfSIU

— BREZZIDENT ? (@OlaTheOG) September 25, 2019

Having sex with your Ex is Like revising past exam questions, its highly recommended if you want to lmprove.

— CAN I BE YOUR DATA PLUG? (@OtunbaIcon001) September 25, 2019

Usain bolt is the fastest runner ?? Has he competed with any Gala Seller from Lagos traffic???

— Sen. Anva (@JA_Anva) September 25, 2019

I want to create an app for broke people. I’ll call it Ohelpme, when you’re broke it will help you search for rich people in your vicinity who have extra money to spare , so you can tell them why and they’ll send you money ?

— Cₕᵣᵢₛ D’ Dᵣᵤₙₖ (@TheIgboWolf) September 25, 2019