Elohor Eva Alordiah, co-founder of Kobocourse, a platform to help African content creators easily scale their online coaching business without the usual hassle, is definitely not happy with morality apologists, and her tweets say just as much.
The former singer was responding to a question she said recurs anything she has a Q&A on her stories – “Are you a virgin?”
Her tweet thread on Twitter reads:
“I am not your role model, I am not your guru. I am an exponentially flawed human just trying to figure out this human shit. I’m a Born Sinner, not your idea of Holy and I’ll never fit your model of perfect. So please, don’t look up to me. Look in the Mirror.
“Hmmm… So yesterday someone asked me in QnA in my stories if I was a Virgin. I understand this question considering the type of society I grew up in. It is a sort of yardstick to measure how “good” of a woman you are. Well, Your yardstick of “good” can eat shit in my ass hun.
“Every time I put up a QnA, there is always that one cow who asks this question: “Are you a Virgin?” No. And you must be very stupid to go around asking women you don’t know questions like this. I may be wrong but I don’t think I have ever seen this question directed at men.
“Usually when the concept of being a Virgin is brought up, it’s the “Woman” who is expected to be a Virgin. Thankfully, Life taught me different and my unique experience ensured that against my will, I was introduced to my own vulnerable sexuality at age 6.
Read also: Even with social intervention programmes, Nigeria’s poverty rate continues to rise – 90 million now
“And I am not isolated in this. So many men and women today carry heavy Sexual Trauma in adulthood because their innocence was ripped off their hands before they knew what it was. An aunty would not stop touching down there. A so-called ‘uncle’ would not stop poking in there.
“Many kids cover up the scars of the sexual abuse within, have no one to talk to and then have to face a society that expects you to be perfect, untouched, holy, because otherwise, you are going to hell — the one they have subconsciously created that has fire and coal.
“What about the hell you are living in right now? What about the hell in your mind? You are afraid of the hell you think awaits you when you transcend this plane, yet you die in the hell that taunts you daily.
“I’m not Holy and I don’t intend to be – how can I, a mere flawed human achieve such status? I do my best. And making mistakes, fucking it up over and over again, making even more mistakes and fucking it up some more is what being Human living in this human experience is about.
“So fuck you and your measurement for good whatever they might be. You go look in the mirror and direct that energy to the person you see. Be your own role model. Do you like what you see? If no, change you.
“To all the Virgins, please do you! You fucking rock! Don’t let nobody pressure you into having sex. You have a lifetime ahead of you to fuck and be fucked. You sef go fuck fuck fuck you go taya. Keep yourself to yourself. Every thing in this life is vanity. Just Booshit.”
The first reaction this writer has to the tweets above is ‘language!’ This time, not in the sense of curse words, but language used effectively well to pass a message in the best way possible.
Yesterday, and part of today, ‘Twitter NG are hypocrites’ stayed on the trend list for a while, and if Eva’s outburst had come at that time, it would have been the perfect time to say ‘algorithm’.
The trend was mostly people selling and buying, but it also highlighted stories of people who acted white and black before the world and went in to act green and purple. It reiterated the fact that hypocrisy is a predominant word if you attempted to describe an average Nigerian.
It is 2022, and ‘virginity’ is still brought up like it is a yardstick to determine the length of the wive material. So, in the case where the woman has lost her virginity, she has lost most of the material.
There is no reference to the fact that the same men who hinge their decisions on the virginity or not of women are the same men whose body count even they do not remember. There is also no reference to the fact that those are the same men who sexually abuse under-aged girls, whose story no one believes because “Uncle…cannot do that. He is a cleric.”
The theme of this year’s International Women’s Day is #BreaktheBias, but we may want to reconsider and leave it at #FreeWomenFolk until these men understand that if standards are to be set, it should be set for all human beings, notwithstanding the gender. Women should not be the standard keepers.
We could have just Eva’s tweets without comment, but the issue of the virginity of the women should be left to the individual women, and that needs to be reiterated over and again. And, when it is necessary to insist on virginity, let the husband materials of men be cut too when it is found that they have used their penis for sexual endeavours.
Again, virginity – or not – does not determine the character of a woman. Some will say it is ‘only sex’, and while that is debatable, it is actually just sex. There are other things that make up a woman – a full-grown human being.
The conversation should be focused on stopping paedophiles forever!
Leave a reply