by Soma Oj.

Welcome to Nigeria.

One day we are obsessed with the return of Efe and Bisola, in utter confusion about an old man who’s yet to learn the art of self-restraint, or just figuring out how we really feel about Yemi Alade’s new style of suggestive music and the next we are all Agatha Christie trying to solve a Malabu oil scandal that I’m sure millions don’t understand. I know I don’t.

[I should have just read this: What is this Malabu Oil Controversy  and how did it come to be?]

The truth is I am not interested in some controversy that started since 1998, spans over three continents and does not look like it’s going to end in my generation. I am especially uninterested in any corruption scandal that involves more than one Nigerian President and other statesmen from more than three ethnic backgrounds. You should not be either.

Imagine if you were passionate about the Panama papers scandal. You know the one where over a hundred media houses across the globe had to comb through 11.5 million documents that expose thousands of offshore companies in dirty businesses with hundreds of world leaders and politicians including Nigeria’s Senate President, Bukola Saraki his predecessor, David Mark, Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, James Ibori, Aliko Dangote, Folarin Folorunsho, TB Joshua and so many others.

See how that played out? The investigation has got a Pulitzer Prize but we really haven’t gone anywhere with the crazy revelations that came with it.

Or are we going to talk about the really confusing  legal battles of Senate President Saraki at the Code of Conduct Tribunal. No one knows where he stands with that or if there’s anything he’s really being prosecuted for anything substantial.

Oh see how James Ibori is back and being celebrated?

Patience Jonathan still insists that her millions of Dollars were gifts even though there’s obvious shadiness in how the accounts were opened. Now, EFCC won’t let her get her money. What’s all that about anyway?

Sambo Dasuki, Diezani Alison-Madueke, Alex Badeh, the list is endless.

Nigeria gives me headache and I’m not about to increase the intensity of that headache because #BBNaija is over and the “woke” Nigerians on Twitter suddenly have something new to yap about because the BBC released a report.

You shouldn’t either because this is going nowhere. As usual.