CAVEAT: We terribly loathe the fact that we find ourselves in a situation where we have to contribute a measure of publicity to this Hushpuppi fellow but this has to be said.

Since Thursday, media outlets, blog sites and social media platforms have been awash with memes, vitriol and support for the players involved in this pointless beef. With some of Nigeria’s biggest music artistes, Phyno, Kcee and Ice Prince on one side and the Hushpuppi fellow on the other side, it’s been an exchange of brags, threats and …

But the best way to approach this issue first of all is to ask the pertinent question: Who the f__k is Hushpuppi and why is he drawing this massive attention?

From our point of view and you’re free to argue it with your conscience, Hushpuppi equals nothing. Or we’ll be petty and go by the Google definition of hushpuppi(y), “A hushpuppy is a small, savory, deep-fried ball made from cornmeal-based batter. Hushpuppies are frequently served as a side dish with seafood and other deep-fried foods“. Take Google to the court, if you must. A most appropriate approach will be to go by my colleague’s immensely enlightening profile of the life of the personality.

On why he’s today’s biggest newsmaker (sadly so), well his false sense of authority in wealth and luxury matters pushed him to offer unsolicited advice to a crop of Nigerian artistes. But he shouldn’t have! No one takes advice from a man who has been rumoured to have put his organ (kidney precisely) up for sale in Malaysia, yes we said it. A man who brandishes a lifestyle that is funded by wealth that neither we nor him can explain. A man who has the liberty to vaunt a suspicious lifestyle and still hold the power to influence a group of young people. 

Hushpuppi picked on Phyno and Ice Prince, said Phyno flaunts a fake wristwatch, forgot that Phyno works hard, rakes in cash but has the moral … not to make noise about it because that’s not hardworking Nigerian men do.

Of course, the artistes he disrespected were quick to respond and sure, they dragged him. Without canvassing for it, they got other artistes to raise voices against Hushpuppi and it became a party of stars against poor Hushpuppi. But was it necessary?

We are strongly of the opinion that they could have ignored him. You see that age-long aphorism, “Silence is the best answer for a fool”? It never gets old. Silence will always be golden and especially when you’re caught in a situation with an individual in a cadre as low as Hushpuppi’s. Forget the Gucci. Ignore the gold. Be blind to the staggering totals on the club receipts. Hushpuppi is a poor, poor fellow and has nothing, absolutely nothing to lose from all of this.

What Ice Prince, Phyno and Kcee, who took things a step further by petitioning for Hushpuppi to be investigated by the EFCC, have done one thing for the young man. They have satisfied his cravings for popularity, they have played into his script, they have strolled into his kernel and have amplified his barking.

Tolu

Your pop culture/entertainment go-to. Music head. Wallflower. I do not like to write. On a mission to decipher covfefe.