Whether you’re meeting someone through a dating app, at a lively nightclub, at a friend of a friend’s party, or on your street, dating in this city is an experience that’s as exciting as it is complicated.

The Journey of Modern Dating in Lagos

Gone are the days of awkwardly passing notes or meeting someone at a friend’s house party. These days, we use dating apps and social media DMs to meet the love of our lives. Technology has changed how we experience people, and whether it is the best method or not will be a conversation for another day. With a swipe or a DM, you can connect with someone across town or four streets away.

Sadly, connecting with people is not always as easy as it sounds. There are millions of people on social media and dating platforms, so finding “The One” might take a little longer and require a lot more effort than swiping left and right on profiles.

This is where it gets tricky because some people are probably searching for a casual fling while others are looking for something more serious. It’s a mix of everything, and that can sometimes be overwhelming when you have to experience several possible soulmates just to find the right one who will stay with you.

The Push and Pull of Culture when Dating in Lagos

Say you have finally found your partner, someone you can introduce to your family. Nigerians generally still hold onto some strong cultural traditions when it comes to dating. If you’re dating someone in Lagos, there’s a chance you’ll get asked about your family, background, and even your job prospects—because, let’s face it, that’s a meaningful conversation to have.

Challenges of Dating in Lagos

Dating in Lagos comes with its challenges. This city’s traffic will always put one in a mood. You could spend hours getting from Berger to Victoria Island, meaning the date you were looking forward to might turn into an hour-long frustrated phone call instead. And if you’re dating long-distance in Lagos, Let’s not get into that. The distance may be long, but the traffic makes it feel endless.

Then there’s the pressure. Lagos is a city where materialism and classicism are at a high level. Nearly everyone talks about the importance of “status,” the need to impress or present yourself in a certain light on the first date. Fancy restaurants, expensive clothes, cars, and gifts are often the focus of dating in Lagos, especially for people trying to maintain a certain lifestyle.

Where to Have Your First Date in Lagos?

One of the many good things about Lagos is that you can never lack places to go for a first date. From the beautiful beaches, perfect for sunset walks and intimate conversations, to the upscale restaurants and art galleries in Victoria Island, there’s something for every kind of date. If you want a low-key vibe, visit an arcade centre and play games with your lover. But if you’re feeling fancy, head to one of the many stylish bars with an excellent aesthetic to keep you excited on your date.

Social Class and Expectations

Social class plays a huge role in dating dynamics. The city has its share of affluent areas like Victoria Island and Lekki, but it’s also home to the less privileged. People from different economic backgrounds often date in very different ways. For some, a date might involve a lavish dinner at a 5-star restaurant, while for others, it could be a simple meetup at a local café.

No matter where you come from, there’s always a level of expectation. In Lagos State, it’s not uncommon for people to feel pressure to “show up” for their date. This could mean picking the right spot or making sure your outfit is on point. It’s all about presenting yourself in the best possible light, which sometimes feels like a high-stakes game. 

The Occasional ‘Happy Ever After’

Despite the ups and downs, Lagos is full of successful love stories. There are couples who met on dating apps and social media and are now happily married, and others who found love at an event or through mutual friends. It’s not all about the hustle and bustle; love does find a way, even amidst Lagos’ chaos.