I grew to love his commanding aura. I loved how patiently he dealt with my childish ways.

I loved him and I could have sworn I meant just as much to him.

Nine months into our relationship, I met her.

He was a ladies man so it was no surprise to me when they came running for him to drive them home after fellowship one evening. She was one of the ladies who got in the car. I was drawn to her gentility. She reminded me of me.

This unsettled me.

All through the ride, she was quietly throwing glances at me. Could she feel it too?

We drove first to her estate. She got out and called out his name—his full name (odd) almost like she was expecting him to say something. He uttered a few words impatiently to her and drove off. I remember experiencing a rush of a foreign emotion coursing through me. I was silent through the remainder of the journey.

Thank God for the talkative behind. She blabbed the silence away.

He placed his fingers on my thigh. I looked at them. There was money in them. ”Use this to take care of yourself for the weekend, OK?”

I looked away.

”Baby don’t start. Take it.”

I didn’t.

He put the money aside and concentrated on driving.

We got to my junction. I felt his eyes on me. I opened the door and without a backward glance, left them.

When I got to the comfort of my home, I rehashed the day’s event.

What had happened?

Where did it go wrong?

Why did I behave that way?

What had triggered my response?

While I was still pondering, my phone rang. It was him.

I answered on the fourth ring.

”Are you home”? He asked.

”Yes”, I said.

”What came over you earlier?”

How do I tell him that’s a question I kept asking myself?

”Did I do something wrong? Answer me.”

”Nothing. I guess I was just tired”, I replied.

”Really? For a moment there, I thought you were jealous.”

Hmm… Jealousy. Could this be the emotion I felt then?

”Hello? Bel, are you there?” he asked me.

”Yes”.

”So were you?”

”Was I what?”

”Jealous of Lola”. He said.

Lola? The talkative? Ugh! She’s not his type. No, not Lola, the other girl—the quiet one. Yes.

”No, it’s the other girl…”

He laughed at me. Said I was being ridiculous.

”She is just a colleague, nothing more”.

”Her reaction to your dismissal gave off a different impression”.

He reassured me that he barely knew her. Being my gentle and trusting self, I believed him. He was sweet to me and cared for me. Always calling to check on me. Whatever time he could make out from work, we spent together. He was supportive spiritually and financially.

I loved him even more.

Days passed. Weeks passed and our relationship grew even stronger.

On a Sunday morning, I saw her. She was sitting directly behind him. He leaned back and said something to her. She laughed. I noticed she had perfect teeth. I felt a bang of that emotion again. He had never been this affectionate with me in church. After the service ended, I walked up to him to let him know I had to visit my parents so I wouldn’t be leaving church with him. He smiled—that smile though!

I was speaking with a friend by the park when five minutes later, I saw her again! On my seat! In his car, beside him!

I was numb.

They never noticed me. The next couple of days, I tried to act natural. I didn’t want to be the nagging girlfriend.

Deep down, I knew.

As much as I tried, I couldn’t quite get rid of the image of them laughing together, sharing a secret joke.

It haunted me. I mentioned nothing of this to him.

He got back early from work one Thursday afternoon and invited me over. I was tired from work and traffic was crazy at the time. He wasn’t happy about this but he didn’t press it. Somehow, I got the strength to go see him. I texted him saying I’d be there in less than an hour.

I dressed up in record time. So excited to see him again.

I opened the gate to his house and walked to the front door. Just as I took another step to the door, it opened. I wore my brightest smile. I could read the surprise in his face and this gave me a rush of pleasure.

”Bel!”

I grinned. Raising my arms to hug him. Something caught my eye through the open door. Oh my God! I couldn’t breathe. I was feeling claustrophobic in open air.

”Baby why are you moving back?” he asked me.

Was I? Oh!

”Did you get my message?” I gasped out.

Wearing a sheepish expression, he shook his head. He moved closer to me. I unconsciously took another step backward.

”How about your sister?”

My sister? What as that got to do with anything?

”She’s home.” I blinked twice to clear my head. ”I… I…”.

I couldn’t find the words. I turned away. He called out to me. I increased my pace and left. I had no idea where I was running to. I knew only that I had to get away from the insanity. I ran till my knees buckled underneath me. Can’t recall how I got to the restaurant but I sat there, staring into space, waiting for my phone to vibrate.

A waiter came to inform me they’d put up the closed sign soon. I must have sat here awhile.

I scrolled through my phone for the hundredth time that evening.

Deep down I hoped—prayed he would call.

Nothing.

The pain sneaked in on me. It spread its deadly web around my lungs, stealing my breath. It

pierced my heart, drawing the life out of me.

No!

This can’t be happening. I won’t allow it.

Maybe there’s an explanation?

I called him.

He picked on the first ring.

“Hello?” His deep voice rang out. The pain was excruciating.

”I don’t know where I am. Can you come find me?”

I called on the waiter to give him directions.

I waited for him outside the restaurant.

Five minutes past. Ten. His car rolled up beside me and I got in.

We drove in awkward silence. He took me back to his home.

No! No! No! Take me back!

I took a deep breath.

”Tunbo,” I could barely hear my own voice.

He parked the car and turned to look at me.

”We need to talk.”

Jeez! The veins were popping out of his skin.

He got out of the car towards the house.

”Give me strength Lord”, I whispered to myself then followed him.

His apartment felt different. It smelt different, yet, it was the same.

I followed him into his room.

I sat on the only chair in the room, adjusted my dress and folded my arms on my thighs as I got ready to confront him. I was terrified. I hate confrontations.

He laid on the bed.

”Did you get my text message?” I asked again

”No.”

”I saw her. What was she doing here?”

”You saw who?”

”Tokunbo…I’m not visually impaired you know” I uttered, annoyed.

He stared hard at me. ”She came to collect a leaflet that was distributed last night in church.”

”And she came to you for that? I thought you barely knew her.” I inquired.

“She was around the area”

I snorted. This questioning was getting us nowhere.

”Why didn’t you come after me?” I blinked back tears.

”I did. You were already out of the gate before I could reach you and I didn’t want to be

embarrassed”.

Excuse me? This man! He is just the height of it!

”Were you fully clothed when she came in?” Knowing he likes walking around the house in his

shorts.

“Yes.”

He patted the space beside him. I shuddered in disgust.

At that instant, his phone rang. He picked it up and exited the room.

I peeked at the bed again. Willing it to speak to me. I got up. Walked towards it and pulled down

the duvet. What was I looking for? Telltale signs maybe?

Deep down, my gut kept telling me something wasn’t quite right.

He walked back into the room.

”Tunbo, you are lying to me”

For the first time in nine months he raised his voice at me, ”if you knew this, why did you make me drive all the way to come get you? You think I have nothing else to do?”

He broke me. In more ways than one he broke me.

My world came crumbling down.

Was this the same man I had thought incapable of losing patience with me? The same man that taught me how to love? The one who showed me the wonders of passion? My guardian angel?

No!

Fight for love right? Maybe it’s just my imagination. Maybe he’s telling the truth after all?

”I’ll choose to believe you”, I responded after a long pause.

”It’s all a matter of choice”. He said without emotion.

“Tunbo! You are not making this easy for me”

He ignored me.

Dazed, I sat, staring at the stranger in front of me.

Where is he that promised never to hurt me?

Did he know I was in pain?

It hurt so bad…no one warned me about the hurt. Or did they?

No!

It couldn’t be.

Tunbo is compassionate.

But the evidence of his brutality was staring me in the face, shattered remains, all over the ground.

He was exactly what I thought him not to be.

The devil was once an angel indeed!

I stood up, looked round the room that had birth great memories. Looked at the man I knew I could never stop loving and said, ”God knows I don’t want to be the one to end a great thing.

But…”, my voice cracked.

”I am hurting Tunbo. Don’t you understand?” Please understand!

I bent over, picked up my bag and left his home, also leaving my pieces for him to do with as he desired. I wanted nothing to do with them.

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This entry was submitted as part of the Nigerian Voices competition organized by YNaija.com.

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