Nene Henshaw: What would make you still consider a relationship after four abortions? [NEXT]

Someone asked me once, “how do you measure your self-worth?”
Few days ago, I ran into a primary school classmate and we were updating each other on our lives and all. She had just been talking about going back to her boyfriend of 5 years who wanted her to commit her 4th abortion. I could not comprehend this. It was absolutely crazy. What was the logic behind this? He wasn’t ready or he just really didn’t care. I had to ask her if she cared about her womb and those her children she had killed. Did she think he would stop someday and be ready maybe after ten abortions? What type of foolishness called love was this? Did she really need a man? Even if, was this one the only man in the world? Was he more important to her than herself, her body and her future? She still put forward arguments to defend him. I just smiled and asked if she knew her self-worth, she replied me still in tears saying “how will I know when he has not found me worthy to bear his child”. I could not understand why she was crying. I was astounded.

But really, how do you measure your self-worth? Is it by the milestones the society claims you have achieved? Is it by the awards on your shelf? Is it by how much money is in your bank account or how wealthy and affluent you are? Is it marrying into a rich family or taking trips to Dubai sponsored by your sugar daddy who maybe your friend’s dad? Maybe to some it is in being successful at maintaining a relationship no matter the cost or conceiving and birthing a child of your own or just copping that latest ride or designer bag.

If you sell your soul for money that won’t last forever, do you value yourself?

If you allow yourself to be dragged down by drugs, do you value yourself?

If you let that man beat you continuously in the name of love, do you value yourself?

Why would anyone judge their self-worth through the eyes of another who is unable to see it? Or does your value decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth

Why would you ever think that you are not worthy to be loved, and I mean pure, undiluted, selfless love?

My self-worth is how much I love myself to know that my value precedes all mundane things. I look in the mirror and see that indeed I am beautiful, I don’t need no compliments boost my ego because I know who I am. I know that I am a chosen child of God and mo man or amount of money can take that away from me and to me, that is all that matters. I would be worth nothing if I had all the “fine things of life” but no God.


Nene is an avid learner with a very active imagination, who has a hunger for new knowledge and creativity. She is a fast, innovative and flexible writer. Nene is also a resilient worker who does not to give up until the task is completed. She thrives well under stressful situations, is able to interact and is open to as many views as possible. Nene is conversational in English, Efik, Igbo and Yoruba.

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