Forget how the dictionaries define sexy and slutty as synonyms. One is deeper than the other. Sexy actually goes beyond the arousal of the natural desire for sex. Anyone can arouse sexual desire so long as she’s well endowed or acting slutty but to be sexy is to be able to keep a person in a perpetual state of desire even when they are satiated. It’s not just physical because once you’ve made up your mind that a person is sexy, no matter what they wear, you’ll still carry a mental perception of them as sexy. Slutty is a lady who comes across as desirous of sex and that idea makes you want her: because she is available. You know you can have her. Sexy is a lady doing her own thing but with unintended effect on you.
Forget the video hype of bum shorts and spaghetti or tank tops, slutty isn’t equal to sexy and no, putting a finger in your mouth and licking it isn’t sexy either…just slutty. Sexy connotes the idea of class, something you are not guaranteed to have even if you have money. Roadside prostitutes are slutty but can barely be described as ‘sexy’ even though they arouse the desire for sex. Unfortunately, man isn’t made for sex alone (though I know a few exceptions to this rule). Different women portray different kinds of sexy.
Omotola Jalade is sexy and it’s not only her bum and boobs but a certain careless awareness of the effect she has over every man that she comes in contact with. Omotola is sexy and she knows it. The message she sends to her viewers is not just the sex but the confidence that she is sexy…she just seems to know that you find her attractive and you probably want to do bad stuff with and to her and her gaze is steady as if she is looking deep into your soul, reading your thoughts.
I think she got it from Marilyn Monroe who says she knew from a tender age that she was born for the camera so she never sees it as just a machine but a living thing. Marilyn would almost seem to make love with the camera as she acts. Every gesture, every look, every coy smile was measured and calculated to have an effect. If her dress rode up her legs unconsciously, she didn’t scramble to pull it down but then holds your gaze, daring you to look down at her thighs…
And then there’s Genevieve. You just know she’s sexy when everyone seems to know someone that knows someone that knows someone whose father’s cousin’s step-brother has slept with her. Such is the power of her sexiness. I once heard a gist that one man pulled over on the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, sat on his bonnet and just stared at her pose on the Lux billboard.
Sexy can be everything or just anything. There was this newscaster in the late 80s Sienne Razak-Lawal (Allwell-Brown) and I thought she was sexy. She was always sat down but whenever she shared a banter with Frank Olize, Cyril Stober or whoever the man lucky enough to be in the studio with her, she would throw her head back slightly and chuckle and in that brief moment, you would seem to see a different lady.
And then there’s Joke Silva. I don’t know how she does it but she always manages to exude such passionate grace of speech even when talking about the weather.
A girl who pays attention to her body without seeming to try so hard qualifies as sexy to me. If you have to dance in a certain way or wear some particular clothes, ‘trying too hard’…not sexy. Tiwa Savage is sexy to some folks I’m sure but for me, not so much; revealing clothes, raunchy hip-twisting: trying too hard. Goldie is also guilty of trying too hard and her skin complexion actually scares me. Kaffy comes across as a dominatrix with muscles: sexy, if that’s your kink but notice she’s grown curves in May D’s Ile Ijo video.
Slutty is that which comes across as cheap, somewhat vulgar, often trashy and totally desperate. Sexy intrigues the primordial instinct of every man from Adam’s lineage to hunt without the assurance of catching up with the prey.
Wearing skimpy stuff then scrambling to pull it down is just classless yet it does attract some guys, the tasteless ones. Most guys prefer a glimpse and imagination will do the rest. The more a lady reveals, the more of an object she is. The less she reveals, the more mysterious and desirous she is.
Sluttiness comes from low expectations, desperation, self-doubt and most importantly: Lack of being loved. Sexiness comes from high self-esteem, high expectations, giving love and knowing her own worth. Sluttiness is clingy, distasteful, disrespectful of both the man and herself, and offensive (throwing herself at him). Sexiness is about sensuality, poise, respect and temptation (attracting him to her).
Admittedly though, everyone has different standards of modesty and one man’s slutty can be another man’s sexy.
What shall we say then of that girl in Timaya’s latest video? That girl is downright slutty. I won’t be surprised if I come across her in one of those highbrow strip clubs but I’m sure I won’t recognise her cos I was just too distracted to see her face.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.