[The Presidential Blog] “Acting President”, “Vice president” or maybe just “Mr Cool Catchprashes” Osinbajo

This morning, our Editorial meeting started with a “deep” argument about how to refer to President Osinbajo now that he’s boss has chosen to leave us with an “Acting President” even while we are being bombarded with reasons to believe that the office of the President has become vacant for reason of it’s holder being incapicitated or otherwise unable to continue to discharge the functions of his office per Section 146 of the Constitution.

We say “deep” argument because it appears we are the only ones concerned about the numenclature. The current writer strongly believes Professor Osinbajo remains a Vice President because the 2010 amendment to the Constitution did not happen in vain so that we may now endure a situation where we have an Acting President and a sitting President at the same time.

But as you may have correctly guessed, the writer fancies the futile while every one else blissfully enjoys tomato/tomato awareness of this existential crises and have no qualms freely switching from “Vice President Osinbajo” to “Acting President Osinbajo”. Who can come and die?

But as the good Lord will have it, the day is ending with a fine and resolute determination of the crises of what Nigeria’s current hero should be called. We should all just call him “Mr Cool Catchprases”.

This is how we got here:

So Professor Osinbajo clearly has his mandate in this office that he holds – whether as Vice president or Acting President or even both, apparently. The man has been consistently rolling out programmes – for the unemployed youth graduates and non-graduates (N-POWER), for primary school pupils (National Homegrown School Feeding), and for small scale entrepreneurs (GEEP).

Now, the office of the Vice-President has just rolled out a new one for the Niger-Delta. A new regional hub for all gas-based industries which will cover 2700 hectares with fertiliser, methanol, petrochemicals and aluminium plants located in a park dedicated as a tax-free zone in Ogidigben, Delta State by the Federal Government. Essentially, a bunch of Fortune 500 companies located in a cluster and enjoying an “abundant supply of natural gas, proximity to a deep sea port and centralised utilities and service such as uninterrupted power, world class telecommunications and processed water.”

For short, you can call the new programme GRIP -Gas Revolution Industrial Park”.

Like who is this guy? A rapper? N-POWER, GEEP, GRIP ??? We love it!

And to cap it all off, the bulk of the programmes are being executed under the umbrella of the Federal Government’s Social Intervention Programmes… say it -SIP!

So yes, Mr Cool Catchprases will do.

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