Temitope Shittu-Alamu: My neighbour has run mad again

My neighbour like many Nigerians is totally insecure.

Like the epileptic nature of PHCN, my neighbour seems to always be on and off. Every time that PHCN cuts off electricity, my neighbour hisses, complains, and begins long spiels on how Nigeria is deteriorating.

Lucky him; he has the popular “I betta pass my neighbour” type of generator. Every time tries to make it start, he says to himself , “thank God I have this small gen o. What will I do in this heat?”

He then continues to rant like a mad man on how there is light in Togo. Usually by the time he begins the talk about the uselessness of Nigeria, his generator has come on. But he still keeps ranting and muttering words to himself.

Sometimes, PHCN restores electricity in less than an hour and my neighbour  hurriedly moves his feet towards his generator. At that time he usually says, “These people did not have toys when they were growing up o, abi why are they playing with the light like children?”

Rather than leave the generator outside (as we all know, he’ll need it in another hour or so) my neighbour takes it into his house for fear that it will get stolen. He says, “In this Nigeria we don’t know who is who.”

My neighbour, like many Nigerians, is totally insecure. They are quite good at ranting though. They are quick to let you know how electricity was constant in the 60’s. They know when Kanji Dam was built; they know what Benin-Ore road once looked like. They were taught by missionaries so they know what quality education is. They have been to London so they know that the system works.  They also know that armed robbery is a major fallout from the Civil War. All the history that led Nigeria to where it is now is right at their finger tips.

They post on twitter how the government has failed the people. In fact during the #OccupyNigeria protest, you must have seen them. They led the way at Ojota. They carried the biggest placards and had the loudest voices. Their voices were so loud, CNN noticed. They cursed Jonathan’s dispensation and the leaders before him. They sang the praises of Awolowo and Azikiwe. They chorused Fela’s songs.

On the day that a certain governor dared to say that his party would rule Nigeria for the next 50 years, they hurled curses at him on twitter, never mind that he doesn’t operate his twitter account. They even diverted the anger at a certain young man who decided to join the party (not that I’m on your side Ohimai).

My problem with these folks has been the same for a long time now. When it’s time to elect new leaders, their enthusiasm suddenly drops. All the action and rolling of sleeves up cannot be accounted for. On election queues you would majorly find old men trotting along with their umbrella’s to shield the sun.

My people would be tweeting results and monitoring activities of hoodlums. They would never step out and their roles would not matter in the country’s decision-making. The one opportunity to effect the change they badly want and they let it slip by them. When obviously incompetent winners emerge, they would begin the ranting procedure for another four years and slowly the people who want to rule for 50 years would have their way. They would most probably sit in their mighty big chairs at Aso Rock and laugh at them. They would say; they have all the talk, but no action.

About the author:  Shittu-Alamu, is a writer, an eclectic public speaker and master of ceremonies with a degree in History and International Relations. Passionate about the media and of a strong believe that “it is my platform to building the Nigeria of my dreams”. I host a yearly Christmas show on television.

I love God, I love people.

Did I mention that I love Garri. Wow it keeps me going. BLOG; http://eclectictope.wordpress.com/



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Comments (8)

  1. Your words are so True… There is so much ranting and words, with very little action, if we must desire change, we must start to change ourselves…Kudos to you.

  2. We do come out. We do vote. Lr how do you explain the fact that Namadi Sambo lost ALL elections in his polling booth. True, more of us should. If we do, rigging will surely reduce.

  3. True talk jare. Yet another fact-filled story. Keep it up gal!!!

  4. Nice one dear but I hope you neighbour won't see this… Lol

  5. 1st,LWKM!ur neighbour na sharp guy.typical nigerian man. You are so on point on the whole election thing. I think some pple actually vote,at least in d last election.a lot of pple were really ready 4 a change. However,majority of us made a mistake. We decided to trust d wrong person(or pple). But seriously,how will we know the right people to trust? All they do is talk and make promises. I still think its partly luck cos a lot of those politicians are clueless,selfish and wicked. Me,I tink its only God that can save naija. And I pray He makes us know d right instinct to follow.

    Once again,Awesome! *thumbs up* Cheers!

  6. This is a real satire. You av indeed painted the picture of the 'timid' Nigerian masses! Keep it up girl, u going places.

  7. BAD LEADERS are elected by GOOD CITIZENS who refuse to VOTE"… Perils of indifference.

  8. lavely piece! but why bother with elections when the qualty of opposition only depresses everyone?

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail