Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are even just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Donald Trump
Trump’s been carrying on about how the media carries lopsided news about him, and today he turned his whine in the direction of New York Times- again.
The failing @nytimes does major FAKE NEWS China story saying "Mr.Xi has not spoken to Mr. Trump since Nov.14." We spoke at length yesterday!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 10, 2017
When will Trump get it? His constant yapping is doing anything but bad to these media houses: their patronage is increasing, subscriptions are rising, business is booming. See what Americans thought about his latest media lamentation.
2. Mike Asuquo
But we cannot dwell too long on America’s woes. There’s too much on our plate to consume that we can’t start doing long throat.
The past two weeks have been nothing but drama in Nigeria as the president aides and everyone in between served us different versions of the president’s health status. Mike Asuquo has captured some in his cartoon, which we are sure the President will read because it’s his favourite portion of the newspaper.
A New Strain pic.twitter.com/4TbH8VpOTP
— Mike Asukwo (@Asukwoeb) February 10, 2017
Absentee Employee pic.twitter.com/UDpCrDhXVE
— Mike Asukwo (@Asukwoeb) February 10, 2017
Oga, they are calling you.
3. Acting Chairman of the EFCC, Magu located 9.8 million dollars in a bunker in Kaduna owned by the former GMD of NNPC, Andrew Yakubu. Watch:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQV6-slB1-1/?taken-by=buhari.sallau&hl=en
So think about it. 9.8 MILLION DOLLARS in one person’s hand. In this recession.
Imagine. In this scarcity of dollar season, one man had solutions to our economic meltdown and hid it away in his bunker.
Nigerians react:
The average Nigerian dream is to work at NNPC. To be head of NNPC with that salary and still embezzle shows poverty of the mind is incurable pic.twitter.com/hozUq87IIw
— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) February 10, 2017
Wait one person went and kept 764000 pounds and more in his backyard like it's yam and plantain . Ehh Jesus, this country o ??
— BollyLomo (@ItsBollyLomo) February 10, 2017
U steal money. Then you lock it up in a mud house. The only thing worse than a thief of public funds is a visionless thief of public funds
— Tunde Leye (@tundeleye) February 10, 2017
I am absolutely certain this person has more than one storage. They were stealing this country with the intention to end it! https://t.co/F77SraKlyp
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) February 10, 2017
Our own don be be dat
4. Chydee/ @nicholasibekwe
There’s more good news. The guys who beat up a disabled guy in Onitsha recently have been arrested and punished. The army did not stop there. They gave the disabled man, Chijoke Uraku some cash.
See below:
Army meets, Chijioke Uraku, the disabled man that was publicly assaulted in Onitsha. Gives him cash gift. pic.twitter.com/tgo98rVZj7
— Nicholas Ibekwe (@nicholasibekwe) February 10, 2017
This gladdens my heart immensely. I don't want to be a kill-joy, but what's going to happen to his attackers though? https://t.co/nY6wZt3Mjt
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) February 10, 2017
5. Bobrisky
Bobrisky and company will be having a house warming party soon. It’s gonna be lit.
6. @Dikachim
This hilarious thread by @Dikachim will have laughing ou loud. It shows the other side of being with a woman who loves to cook. Everything has to be Martha Stewart.
See below:
forget these cooking arguments, marrying or dating babe that loves cooking can be stressful. you'll want ordinary indomie but no
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
she doesn't see why you should want indomie so she'll make Russian salad with pesto sauce and pasta and you're there like pic.twitter.com/7ZxAaZd9rq
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
next time, you sneak into the kitchen to make indomie and she catches you like pic.twitter.com/NxApI1dowz
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
She says if it's indomie you want I'll make it ah!
So you finally relax because you will have some good old indomie at last
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
10 mins later she turns up with a plate of food with a few strands of indomie & vegetables you've never seen before. Immediate depression pic.twitter.com/eAh2xLLbEG
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
let's not talk about when she adds fitfam to her love of cooking. she'll just declare all the food you love contraband. indomie, aganyin etc
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
"honey I made oiless Afang soup"
You: pic.twitter.com/qUUCFZ58hR
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
when you're swallowing food happily at buka, people will be wondering why but you know, you know what's waiting for you at home
— Nwakibeya (@Dikachim) February 10, 2017
7. Pastor Olubunmi Oluwole gave his wife a lovely surprise.
Sweet. Val’s gearing up to be awesome.
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