[The Sexuality Blog] True allyship often comes at a terrible cost for those who support LGBT people

Last week sunday, a man in Florida was shot to death by a drunk homophobe because this man chose to speak up when his gay friends were being harassed. The homophobe who killed him, Nelson Hernandez Mena, had followed the man, 22-year-old Juan Javier Cruz and his friends down the street and into the restaurant where they were eating and harassed them while there. According to one witness, a man in Cruz’s party had asked for a phone number from a man in Hernandez Mena’s party, which may have incited his anger.

Cruz refused to let the man harass his friends and for his courage, he was shot with a handgun.

This is why many LGBT people refuse to publicly come out. They know that coming out not only puts their lives at risk, it puts the lives of the people who choose to accept them as they are and refuse to let other people harass them for their sexualities at risk.

Many get beaten, ostracized and even killed because they refuse to participate in bigotry. The closet is often a compromise, a way to protect immediate family members from having to choose alienation from extended family because they want to accept and love the LGBT person and support their decision to live openly as gay, bisexual, pansexual or trans.

This is not something any LGBT person would ask of their friends, families or allies. So when someone steps up for them, truly steps up and becomes an ally, they appreciate the sacrifice offered.

Thank you Juan Javier Cruz for being a true ally. You are celebrated.

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