by Stanley Azuakola

What’s a good crisis without some choice conspiracy theories?  Before anyone could even say “Maul me”, several conspiracy theories had sprung up on the “real” reason(s) behind President Goodluck Jonathan’s decision to change the name of the University of Lagos to Moshood Abiola University.

From the comical to the downright nasty, here are the top 5 … and what I think of them:

1. Changing the name of the university is just the first step towards turning it into a private one and increasing the school fees. Well, this just sounds like a very foolish thing to say.

-For sheer senselessness, it can only be compared to the argument that the academic standards of the university would fall as a result of the name change.

2. Jonathan is already scheming towards 2015 and is trying to win over Lagos and South-West voters by his gesture. Every June 12 is usually gather-and-whine day for leaders from the South-West, who sit in air-conditioned conference rooms to lament about how the FG hasn’t honoured Abiola enough. By renaming UNILAG, the theory goes, Jonathan was only attempting to make himself look good before this crowd.

– But, err, Jonathan won Lagos by a landslide and took all the South-West states except Osun* in the April 2011 elections. 

3. The president was just trying to divert attention away from his “abysmal performance” as president, which was certainly going to be a major talking point on the occasion of his first anniversary in office.

–Now that’s a conspiracy theory that actually makes some sense. But that’s not the reason the president gave for the name change, and since there’s probably a law which says we have to believe the president whether he is lying or he is lying, we just have to place this as a conspiracy theory unless Labaran Maku says otherwise.

4. “They” knew that the former Vice-Chancellor would never have agreed to the name change and that’s why “they” had him killed.

-Not much to say about that theory … apart from the fact that it’s just bonkers.

5. President Jonathan tried to gain admission into the University of Lagos after leaving secondary school years ago, but got rejected, so renaming the university was just a way of getting back at the school.

-Now, this is just hilarious! But instructive though. As universities prepare for another round of Post UTME, they would do well to take note  – the Jambite you see today might become the Aso-Rockite tomorrow. Enough said.

What other theories have you heard?

 

Update: An an earlier version of this piece had carried that Jonathan took all the South-West states except Ekiti. In fact, the only South-West state not won by Mr Jonathan was Osun, not Ekiti.