Japheth Omojuwa: The Rivers coup and Jonathan’s Transformation Agenda (Y! FrontPage)
by Japheth Omojuwa
The President in his usual brilliance is fast helping to redefine the root of mathematics. First it was the janglization of mathematics with the equation 16 > 19 (16 is greater than 19) and now we have a new one in Rivers where 5/32 = 2/3…
Andy Murray won his first Wimbledon title and the first in seventy-seven years for a British man. This feat was achieved under the President Jonathan administration and it is very much in line with the Nigerian President’s transformation agenda. You are probably wondering about the connection but you should not. You know Nigeria used to be a British colony and no Nigerian President had witnessed such a feat since our Independence. This is one of the reasons President Jonathan must be supported to continue to transform our country. The earth is turning on its axis and revolving around its orbit in line with the Jonathan administration’s agenda. Yes the earth had always rotated and revolved but it never did with the various realities such a pass of time has come to mean for Nigeria. President Jonathan is working and his enemies cannot continue to pretend about this.
If you are wondering about the wonders of the first paragraph, what will you say about what happened at the Rivers’ State House of Assembly yesterday? 5 members of the house sat and elected a new Speaker just after illegally impeaching the legitimate one. There are 32 members of the Rivers’ State House of Assembly and you need a two third majority to impeach the Speaker. You need at least 11 members of the house to form a quorum; these men decided five was enough. What gave them the guts to behave with such impunity? They are Nigerians remember and they know just a few weeks ago a man was accepted by the presidency for being the leader of group where he had earned 16 of 35 votes. The man who had 19 was deemed the loser by the Presidency. These activities are all in line with the transformation agenda of President Jonathan.
The President in his usual brilliance is fast helping to redefine the root of mathematics. First it was the janglization of mathematics with the equation 16 > 19 (16 is greater than 19) and now we have a new one in Rivers where 5/32 = 2/3 i.e. where you need two third of the house to impeach the Speaker of the House, the Jonathan backed rogue-esque lawmakers decided 5 was enough. The evolution of this Jonathanian mathematical formula can be summed up thus;
Jonathanian mathematics | 16 > 19 (16 is greater than 19 where 16 belongs to Jonathan | 5/32 = 2/3 (where 5 belongs to Jonathan)
Mind that this formula holds sway only when the interest of the president is at hand. If you use it in school you are likely to fail except the teacher specifically demands that you janglize the equation or says evaluate this according to the Jonathanian formula. We were promised a breath of fresh air by the president and no one can deny he is delivering on that. Our children must be told that the debts they will be repaying tomorrow are being racked up as we speak. Mr. President is in China to borrow more. We need more than enough money because 2015 is around the corner and we cannot trust mathematics alone. These are all in line with the transformation agenda of President Jonathan.
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