The first thing I need to say is this: You, like me, will not be able to sit still while you watch this movie.

So for a while now, everyone around me has been talking about Banana Island Ghost (B.I.G), the romantic comedy starring Chigul as lead character and produced by media icon, Biola Alabi. And that’s basically all I knew about the movie!

I consciously and deliberately did not pay attention to the hype and made sure to avoid its trailer and it was one thing that put me off – the title. Like wtf! is Banana Island Ghost? I also could not see anything bright beyond the torquoise blue and yellow posters.

For some reason beyond me and inexplicable too, I decided to see the movie. Here’s everything that coursed through my mind as I watched plus other things that happened to me in that cinema screen. I’m not reaching but I can assure that my experience will not be different from yours. So here goes:

1. Banana Island Ghost has the best representation of GOD you’ll ever see in any Nigerian movie. Accessible, ever-present help, kind, not overbearing, allows you to show yourself, merciful, affable, etc.
2. Bimbo Manuel is the daddy of all these actors. All the others should just sit down and be humble.
3. Who is Patrick the Ghost?
4. Quick Google search: His real name is Patrick. Patrick Diabuah and he’s done a number of stage plays. And good God, he’s amazing.
5. Who knew Tomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan on Merlin) could speak Nigerian English?
6. Why is he so foiiinneeee though?
7. Is someone wondering why I haven’t mentioned Chigul?
8. Coca Cola, Kilimanjaro, Coldstone, subliminal ads everywhere!
9. Dorcas Shola Fapson is freakingggg hotttt! Gaddemit!
10. But I’m here wondering what her script looked like. She didn’t say a word…not one!
11. The Google talking car scene is the dopest you will see in any Nigerian movie. I’m not joking!!!
12. This is the point in the movie where I found myself on the floor of the cinema hall and everyone around me was equally misbehaving.
13. I genuinely at this point want to be a ghost too. Since it comes with freebies…
14. What was that Damilola Adegbite scene about?
15. Akah Nnani is a very foolish boy. I mean it. LMAO!
16. ATTAAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!
17. You will get it when you see the movie. I can’t be explaining.
18. Cinematography is world class, by the way. Can’t miss the special effects, the slow motion, the entrance shot in the poker competition scene. WOW!
19. That conversation Chigul had with the bleached Indian Ninja from Awka…I died.
20. Saheed Balogun killed his role just as everyone else in the movie. Just as Ozzy Agu who appeared only once.
21. Who did the makeup on Chigul for the charity event scene?
22. It’s just unfair that Chigul and Patrick missed every chance to kiss throughout.
23. Tina Mba is still very under-celebrated but this is a conversation for another day.
24. The movie is pure fantasy and no one has done it like this in Nigeria.
25. Ali Nuhu did well in this one and I’m impressed.
26. Chigul is a world class act.
27. BB Sasore is the future.
28. Somewhere on the side, I’m thinking: What is that other movie again? But that’s just me being petty.
29. I’m definitely going back to see Banana Island Ghost.

And I repeat:

30. Chigul is world class and she should get awards for this role.