From the sword-wielding American president to his fashion killer wife to trophy lifting Gunners, here are last week’s winners and losers.

WINNERS

Arsenal FC

In the 79th minute of the game, Aaron Ramsey led the Gunners to the FA Cup glory. In a 2-1 win against Chelsea, the team lifted its third FA Cup in four seasons. Though it has been a tough year for Arsene Wenger, this is his seventh FA Cup and it might be a defining factor for his future with Arsenal. Wenger out or nah? We’ll find out after Tuesday’s meeting with the team’s board. But for now…it’s massive congratulations to Arsenal!

Donald Trump

Pheewww! It must have been tiring flying across continents for nine days then to finally get curved by a new president you genuinely don’t give a damn about and to have your wife embarrass you twice in public just because you want to hold hands. The job of being the President of the United States is tough but tougher when you’re Donald Trump.

When he announced the trip, Americans’ expectations looked something like this: Maybe start an international incident, World War III, or just goof fantastically to their utter disgrace. To the disappointment of the world, President Trump behaved himself for most part of the trip. He owned the entire nine days, refrained from tweeting his usual missiles and maybe even made history as the first sitting US president to visit the Western Wall.

Summarily, Trump’s first foreign trip was devoid of the sort of drama critics projected. That’s a win for the Donald!

Melania Trump

FLOTUS was next to her husband most of the international trip and though she stayed conspicuously silent, her fashion statements echoed through the world of fashion. From her $51,500 Dolce & Gabbana multi-floral jacket to her Michael Kors suits to Manolo Blahnik stilletos, Melania got tongues wagging for all the right reasons.

More importantly, her choices of wearing outfits that were significant to each location they were in prove that Melania may know more about international relations than she gets credits for.

How could we forget the two times she got us all oohing and aahing after she slapped her husband’s hand off when he tried to hold her?! This trip re-introduced Melania Trump to the world and she didn’t have to say any words.

Acting President Yemi Osinbajo

Call it his 2019 presidential campaign, Nigeria’s “coordinator” has gotten rave reviews after his third week holding the country down while the president receives treatment in London. Yemi Osinbajo got all the ticks when he called bullshit on the religious claptrap Nigerian leaders have bamboozled us with for years. “Nigeria cannot work with only prayers and fasting” coming from Pastor Osinbajo, Nigerians had better start listening.

[Read more about it: Nigerians really should start listening to Prof Osinbajo]

LOSERS

Saraki, Dogara and Melaye

So we heard the senator turned author sold copies of his anti-corruption manual to his fellow lawmakers and distinguished guests as his launch events for whooping amounts of naira. Senators Bukola Saraki and Yakubu Dogara reportedly purchased copies of the book for other lawmakers at N50,000 each.

We won’t bother ourselves with soiling our mouths with foul names for these men, this article does that for all of us.

Jared Kushner

Fresh troubles brew in Trump’s White House now that top adviser and his son-in-law, Jared Kushner is alleged to have had “at least three previously undisclosed contacts with the Russian ambassador to the United States before and after the 2016 election” and worse off, he tried to keep the communication secret. The White House has kept mum on the allegations but the new revelations drag Trump’s campaign deeper into a dark hole in the investigations into its ties with Russia.