Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their funny rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. Here’s a roundup of the best we saw today.
Day 13 without sex: plugged my charger to my phone and whispered: “Hope it doesn’t hurt u”?
— Your Ex 🕺 (@harryolah) January 13, 2020
I used Google map to locate Okongwu Grammar School in Nnewi this morning. Lmao! I don’t even know what to say, I found myself in a thick bush in Ozubulu. Nobody told me to start asking for directions.
— Rev. Kobisonna (@CFChiddy) January 13, 2020
You don’t pay rent.
You don’t pay bills.
You don’t have anyone you’re sponsoring in school.
You don’t even buy your clothes yourself.
You get monthly allowances.
But on twitter, you’re teaching those who do all these things how to save. Lmao, Twitter is indeed a leveler.
— Mazi Olisaemeka C. ™ (@OlisaOsega) January 13, 2020
Yesterday someone told me I dance like all those boys and girls that do “activation”.
— Jola (@Jollz) January 13, 2020
I chanced a brt today at Ojota and it yielded to me. A whole brt. See me driving like a cultist on Monday morning. 😭😭😭😭
I need to go to Ibadan for retreat and mind renewal.
Lagos, you won’t make me become like you. I will never acquiesce in Jesus name.
— Dr Sam Oyèyínká (@DrFeruke) January 13, 2020
How can you tell me to send you recharge card so that you can transfer the money you’re owing me??
— Chief ♛ (@Dan_skili) January 13, 2020