If anything, this year’s Nollywood movie release timeline has been something of a joke. Egregiously bad movies keep flooding the cinemas, caked in the same themes. Lara and the Beat was not what we expected, Cheta Chukwu’s PayDay was just fluff and we still don’t know when Guyn Man will be released, initially scheduled for a theatrical opening in June.

August is here, though, meaning we can look forward to a slate of new movies but not necessarily palate cleansers.

Seven and a Half Dates

This movie should have been called: A Father Loves to Play Chess and He Turns His Daughter’s Romantic Life into a Chess Game. Mercy Johnson is back to acting, after her mother passed away in May and recent pictures from the Take Me Home movie set show her with actor Daniel K. Daniel.

In Seven and a Half Dates, Johnson plays Biola, an independent, career-minded woman whose father Mr Gomez (Akin Lewis) sets her up on numerous dates to find a man. Toyin Abraham, Bayray Mcnwizu, Frank Donga, Jim Iyke, Fathia Williams and Sola Sobowale all appear in this movie written by Joy Isi-Bewaji. With a tinge of comedy, Seven and a Half Dates is out in theaters August 3.

Klippers

Okay. Okay. Klippers directed by US-based Nigerian filmmaker and actor Ofu Obekpa looks cinema-worthy. Perhaps because it’s an action thriller, starring American actor and semi-retired professional wrestler Kevin Nash. In Klippers, an assassin is sent by his psychotic employer to kill his ex-wife. In his quest to accomplish his task, he becomes familiar with his target (meaning he resists the temptations not to get sexualllll but falls). Now, he must face the consequences of his actions.

Summarised into a “Vengeance of a loan shark is deadly payback” logline, the movie also stars Obekpa himself, Conphidance, Libby Blanton, Robert Pralgo and slated to be released in cinemas on August 10.

Moms at War

The saving grace of Omoni Oboli’s latest brand of women-centric cinema is Funke Akindele, who will cement herself as an industry great if she can tweak her Jenifa persona to accommodate the city world of Moms at War. About two mothers who live in the same neighborhood and hate each other, and subsequently realising that their children attend the same school, Oboli intends to change the narrative of women hating each other with this flick. Starring Yul Edochie, Abayomi Alvin and Adebukola Oladipupo, Moms at War looks fun on paper. August 17 can’t come soon enough.

The Washerman

Aside the fact that Charles Uwagbai parades a handsome male cast in Chris Okagbue, Bryan Okwara and Mofe Duncan, The Washerman unabashedly runs with the “Be careful what you wish for” trope. Etinosa Idemudia plays blogger KC, who is desperately in search of love and says a prayer one night. The titular washerman played by IK Ogbonna becomes entangled with her life soon after, beginning the journey of an awkward romance. See The Washerman in cinemas on August 31.

From Lagos With Love

With a trailer released recently, From Lagos With Love is disappointing. I rolled my eyes all through the duration of the trailer and couldn’t single out anything redeemable. Writer Dami Elebe, who has built an impressive portfolio in television, makes From Lagos With Love her Nollywood tryout. Starring Shaffy Bello, Sharon Ooja, Damilola Adegbite, Funke Kuti, Bimbo Manuel, and singers-cum-actors Nonso Bassey and Jon Ogah, From Lagos With Love follows a family reunion with secrets and untold truths. We’ll see about that on August 31.