Lagos and full blown hyper-tension – and more, in today’s news round up with Cheta Nwanze

by Cheta Nwanze


Yesterday, millions of hard working Lagosians, spent three hours going in one direction in traffic. Arrived at our offices all fagged out, took a nap rather than a lunch break, then proceeded to spend another three hours in traffic, in the other direction. Arriving at home, these Lagosians were faced with the generator symphony, and the thrill of myriad mosquitoes. That, is enough to make anyone hypertensive. So when assorted stethoscopes tell us that a third of Nigerians are prone to hypertension, we know that he did not include Lagosians (10% of Nigerians) in that list. We are no longer hypertensive here, we are already experiencing full blown hyper-tension.

A good cause for hyper-tension, is the unemployment rate. Personally, I have fits of apoplexy whenever I have to take a drive through assorted parts of this city, and come face to face with the myriad young men, my age, who spend their weekday afternoons gathered at open air television viewing centres. You see, when you have so many idle minds, it is just a matter of time before the Devil sets up his work tools, as happened with Ifeoluwa Coker and John Odu who both needed to make ends meet, and proceeded to relieve fellow Lagosians of their automobiles.

But then again, the case can be made that Messrs Coker and Odu took a look at the landscape of the employed around these parts, and decided that getting in there was not worth the effort. You see, they could have taken jobs, then gotten unpaid for months on end, only to still end up burgling their employer, because of a need to make ends meet. That, possibly, was the fate awaiting the 19 who perished trying to get jobs with our Interior Ministry all those months ago. Yes, that’s the guilty party in this case.

Love life, live healthy

Bits and Bobs

Tired of seeing unemployed youths hawking phones that look like his own, the Standards blazer has struck back.
The National Jaw-jaw now has a locked jaw. No one appears to know what “federalism” means.

The Prez has put a gun to the heads of #ourNASS. “Give me $1 billion, or #BokoHaram will continue running buck wild.” Expect more of those annoying adverts on Channels TV.

Meanwhile, since he ended up disobeying the orders from young Malala, expect another one of his superiors to give him an order soon. Michele Obama is getting interested.

Right of Reply

Segun Balogun wrote,

The Bigot has been thankfully thrown out of the bus and that’s all that matters in Chxta’s world. Terms like rule of law, due process, constitutional governance/democracy dont. good stuff!

Chxta responds,

Diversion of N400 millions out of the N500 millions released by the FG for flood victims in Adamawa State; Extra budgetary expenditure of N1,740,785 on SAs and N166,230,536 on PAs in 2013; Corrupt siphoning of N300 millions in public funding through Hydro-Resources for Mubi Bypass without mobilizing to site; Fraudulent diversion of N2.3 billions meant for Adamawa State Workers salaries for October/September.

And those are just four of twenty accusations meted against him. I chose these four because we’ve talked about them in this ‘ere morning tonic. I deliberately ignored the one that pains me the most.

Oh, by the way, ever since the state judiciary refused to confirm one of his wives as Chief Judge in 2010, Adamawa has been without a Chief Judge. Your move.



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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