Nene Henshaw: Alone [NEXT]

by Nene Henshaw

Some days life just knocks the shit out of you and has you wondering about everything: “who are you?” “What are your goals?” “Where do you want to be in five years?” Now these questions are confusing and feel even worse if you’re in your 20’s, trying to grow up. For example, I want to be rich (obviously) but it’s not like that’s all I care about and heaven is still the ultimate goal and gjtyrelfdvbtresfyewaa.

Once upon a time all I wanted to be was a mom (might sound lame but idc). My mom is such an amazing woman and the love… Lord knows that love has to be the most beautiful thing ever. And all I just wanted was to be the same and do the same with my own mini me’s (was definitely not thinking about the cost of pampers and all ?)

In secondary school I’d say I’d be married by 19 ??. Then I moved it to 21. Being 21 has proved to me that I was definitely mad ?. There’s no way I’m getting married in less than 4 years.

Finishing Uni and now every tom, dick and Harry is asking me what I want to do with my life. It’s actually super annoying, like leave me alone, I want to sell pepper- ? jokes jokes.
But for real, I’ve got so much ambition. Can’t even afford to be poor but this one that offices and companies are always retrenching staff, what will man do? I should have tried harder for that first class, maybe it’d be better, still a maybe ?

But still, is it too much to ask to just have a nice job and a large salary? God gave Adam the earth to till, eat as he pleased and multiply, so we’re all supposed to be working, eating and multiplying so I don’t understand the one that there’s no job- in this big earth that God created for all of us. Like what is wrong with all the people keeping the money in this Nigeria that won’t share it, as if they’ll be buried with the money.

Yes I’m upset o. Upset because I’m finishing school and confused about which steps to take next (might sound gibberish to you because you’ve not gotten there or you have it all figured out). I’m usually the type to have things figured out but this one is not even working. Now simple “who are you?”, I’ll be thinking; like really life has made me a different person from the person I initially set out to be (if you get me).

Nigeria’s economy keeps flying downside. Business ideas are being stolen and there isn’t even originality anymore (*smh*)  How will I be able to just be a rich mommy? Is that too much to ask for?

Somehow, I believe I’ll still get to build that my mall (always been a dream?). I have faith, and with all the road blocks I’ve stumbled upon in my life, I know that God didn’t bring me this far to leave me here.

Time is running out and the pressure is mounting but I refuse to succumb, I was born a fighter and somehow I will survive because each day as it comes, life goes on.

This is for anyone who’s in a tight corner like me, confused and scared ;

You are not alone.

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