Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Ayo Sogunro
The president of Nigeria is ill. But Nigerians are not privy to his diagnosis. The secrecy surrounding his health has given room for conspiracy theories to thrive.
For instance, in two weeks, we have heard of Buhari’s death twice. With each death rumour, the president’s social media aides release a statement. When Nigerians request for details of the president’s situation, what they tell us is only the president can tell us what illness is battling.
Ayo Sogunro has a problem with this:
On Buhari's health: It's just sad that govt continues to treat Nigerians like children who have no business with the true state of anything.
— AYO SOGUNRO (@ayosogunro) May 22, 2017
Freedom is BLOODLY expensive.
— Akanbi IFAGBEMILEKE (@RVincci) May 22, 2017
2. Superwoman
There’s a different matter Nigerians are contemplating:
When y'all been like on the 5th date and he hasn't tried to kiss you yet pic.twitter.com/2bxKA7ZGif
— J. (@Ejuraa_) January 11, 2017
Nigerians react:
Assumption these days is risky. Kiss him first mbok. To avoid gist in myhoestory's TL.
— Chibyki® (@cekebuisi) May 22, 2017
Lmao?? get ready for Fifty Shades of Grey ?
— Grimm (@Its_pascal) April 3, 2017
Lmaoooooo! Hian! Next thing you go hear "you're like a sister to me"??
— HRH Adabekee? (@cremechic11) May 22, 2017
3. Clarenceonyeks
Speaking of relationship material, Clarence has a few thoughts:
When you realize she earns more than 60k a month and is therefore too proud to be marriageable pic.twitter.com/YZ20Wm7mAg
— The Chariots and The Horsemen (@Clarenceonyeks) May 22, 2017
When she is beautiful, smart & awesome, but you realize that she drives something better than a picanto, so no marriage for her pic.twitter.com/wUIrdA5AX8
— The Chariots and The Horsemen (@Clarenceonyeks) May 22, 2017
When you see her riding a palm wine tapper bicycle to work and it hits you… she.. could.. be .. the one pic.twitter.com/f4g5r2Wcof
— The Chariots and The Horsemen (@Clarenceonyeks) May 22, 2017
60K as transport allowance or total monthly take home
— Bronx Major (@Coolie_Monster) May 22, 2017
4. Mr Kermit
Talking about husbands:
Men are scum, men are scum…… Some people here, all they do is chase other people's husbands.
— PostMaster (@O_ssai) May 22, 2017
Abegi. Leave matter! Nobody get Husband for Lagos, all of us dey share. ???? https://t.co/iRjaYCVMDD
— Amina Ebele (@DeliciousAmina) May 22, 2017
— HRH Adabekee? (@cremechic11) May 22, 2017
— Amina Ebele (@DeliciousAmina) May 22, 2017
Hahahahahahaha….. we no dey like that for Warri o. The "Y" for "Your" never comot o. People dey tear pant for the matter o. https://t.co/hrZNHcBHgr
— PostMaster (@O_ssai) May 22, 2017
Lagos dating stories have me so shook! You'll be doing love only for someone to come and tell you the y in 'your' man is silent ??
— FK. (@fkabudu) May 22, 2017
5. Ajax has a word Man United ahead of match
Hi @ManUtd, we've heard something's missing in your Trophy Cabinet! And we would like to keep it that way! ?#UELfinal #ajaman pic.twitter.com/B1ZsVczMu9
— AFC Ajax (@AFCAjax) May 22, 2017
6. Melania curves Trump:
Well this is embarassing https://t.co/XaPL1AbCm5 pic.twitter.com/mumhuQHDFz
— Haaretz.com (@haaretzcom) May 22, 2017
Alright.
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