Every day, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are even downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1 Maraji

We lead with this comedy skit by the certified queen of skits, Maraji, because we all need a reason to laugh sometimes.

WATCH:

Retweet if you've ever done this?? pic.twitter.com/oCR82AbuKu

— Gloria Oloruntobi (@Maraji_) August 9, 2017

2. @_clvrarose

Rejection sucks, especially when the reasons do not make a lick of make to you. @_clvrarose complains:

This guy doesn't want to date me because I'm taller than 5'3? He himself is 6'1. I'm rattled ? it's worse because he approached me irl

— loftus smashed my cheeks (@_clvrarose) August 9, 2017

And when he did, he did ask how tall I was and I said 5'5. Still took my number though?

— loftus smashed my cheeks (@_clvrarose) August 9, 2017

3. Ayo Sogunro

The lawyer is angry at the elevation of people for party politics sake:

I can't believe people are insulting Charly Boy because Buharism. I say again, this generation would have applauded Saro Wiwa's execution. ?

— AYO SOGUNRO (@ayosogunro) August 9, 2017

4. Dr Dipo

Backstory: Toke Makinwa visited social media with another one of her controversial opinions yesterday. Today, girl got three different hashtags trending in her name. Such an uproar, it was. During the mayhem, people did not fail to remind her why she should not have an opinion because she lost Maje. Dr Ogbeni takes issue with this reasoning:

Toke had a failed marriage. No one wants that but these things happen. Reminding her of that every time she has an opinion is stupid.

— Dr. Dipo Awojide (@OgbeniDipo) August 9, 2017

5. Reno Omokri

Is President Buhari really a resident of the UK now? Reno takes him to task.

President Buhari achieves another world record! He is the first elected president to have become resident of another country while in power!

— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) August 9, 2017

Babanla, on the other hand, tackles Buharists.

If your defence for Buhari been AWOL is the law, then you would be stupid to complain about what politicians earn. It is lawful as well.??

— Babanla (@biolakazeem) August 9, 2017

6. Omojuwa

We like this tweet by Omojuwa:

This is why ?? has no moral rights to tell anyone not to run way, none to ask those who ran to come back & patriotism is a scarce luxury. pic.twitter.com/or0ycKF27v

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) August 9, 2017

7. @Duchesskk

These questions on bible characters provoked the most hilarious of answers. Take a look:

Who's the Bible character you relate with the most?For me, David,he was such a screw up but he always found his way back&cried like a baby

— Slay Queen (Period Partner) (@duchesskk) August 9, 2017

Reactions:

https://twitter.com/GirlNextFlat/status/895302555009515520

https://twitter.com/Kingwole/status/895275565388886016

Moses. The bros just dey talk to God anyhow. I need that kind of grace now

— Ella (@mellory_e) August 9, 2017

Martha – always want to show off my cooking skills when I have a guest and I end up missing out on hot gists

— Bunny (@Peace_sucker) August 9, 2017

God of the Old Testament.

Do as I say or Get it⚡️?❄️⛈???

— Kelvinbagwell® (@kelvinbagwell02) August 9, 2017

Last one. Elisha. Insult my bald spot and I will invoke the power of God and set bears upon you IDGAF! (they were children too ??)

— ORSON (@chi_boss) August 9, 2017

Samson. I always pick the wrong girl.

— Mojojo (@TheWorkA_holic) August 9, 2017

Jacob: he was one of the most patient people, and a fantastic entrepreneur and innovator. Also turned out extremely wealthy.

— #ENDSARS (@timileyin_) August 9, 2017

I have a few but let me start with

Jonah – I don't like people sending me message https://t.co/59eF64U7ez

— Abike (@Jollz) August 9, 2017

Lollllll.

8. Folarin

Earlier today, Elnathan John was speaking about crowdfunding development in Nigeria. He said categorically that the ‘patch-patch structure we’ve built will crumble’. One of the popular crowdfunding schemes in Nigeria is gofundme, but how will that help the country and its citizens in the long term? Still we pray:

I pray all the people asking for funds via social media for ailments, school fees et al….All get it in time.

God bless them. Amen.

— Folu (@FoluShaw) August 9, 2017

9. Niacerise

Niacerise is nuts about Christ and she is making spectacular noise on trains. WATCH:

My sister in Christ and myself have been standing up on trains and tubes as of recent and telling them our entire testimonies. I DARE you pic.twitter.com/XbyGZkcpUI

— N I A – C E R I S E (@niacerise) August 9, 2017

10. Bill Winston

Finally, let Pastor Bill’s words help you sleep easy

We must not doubt that God's promises are true, you have to believe God. If you don't stop fear, it will stop you.

— Bill Winston (@DrBillWinston) August 9, 2017