Say to them that all subsidy thieves including Otedollar will be brought behind bars because Go-slow is ready to act, tell them that the Naira will be equal in value to the Kuwaiti Dinar.
It was 31st of December 2012, the last day of a truly miraculous year. A year truly remarkable due to a flurry of high profile victims, while some believe it is karma, some believe it was only normal.
I wasn’t satisfied with the various thoughts and insinuations, I’d consulted baba Ilishan via skype a week ago to look into the matter for me and he came up with the answer that he had told Gani; these things were happening because we have been starving Ogun (the god of iron), so he needs more blood to quench his thirst. I felt Gani had appeased Ogun, but Idris Wada’s accident brought out another major concern. I concluded baba must have overdosed on too many bottles of schnapps when I called him.
These sad occurrences that befell our ‘great’ leaders saddened me, so I decided to bell Alfa. Alfa said the Ebora of Owu was owing the powers-that-be some gallons of blood, so they decided to threaten him by setting a little part of his house ablaze, I was pleading on Ebora’s behalf because he had promised to make me chairman of any local government of my choice in Ogun state if I can find solutions for him. Alfa also said they will recite the whole Qur’an on Ebora’s behalf provided his son will be my deputy, I said that wasn’t a problem and that was the deal.
I still wasn’t convinced! I needed a lasting solution, we had told Nigerians to pray for us, so I thought I should use the crossover night of the 31st to 1st of January to pray as well in church. On getting to church, I humbly sat down at the back, when the usher saw me and exclaimed ‘Ah chairman, the front seat is for VIPs like you’ I smiled ‘Ebora must have told pastor about his plans for me’ I thought, as I adjusted my Agbada and strutted to the ‘VIP’ seats.
I was seated, the prayer session was ongoing, papa was casting out spirits that shouldn’t zoom into the new year, young beautiful ladies were falling down, able men fallen on each other, papa sprinkled the anointed water on them and everyone became mushy-mushy. I kept watching the scenario, forgetting papa said we should be praying.
I was enjoying the drama frenetically and few minutes later I became a prophet, I saw the future, I saw beautiful things, let me share the vision with you dear friends; The spirit of the Lord, Olorun Ja-Jehova said to me “say to Nigerians that the year 2013 will be the year of the supernatural transformation as promised by Go-slow Jonathan, tell them that the Lagos-Ibadan expressway will be upgraded overnight into a six-way motorlane, tell them that China will consult them to build a first class rail system for them because the Nigerian locomotive trains will travel Abuja to Lagos in 30 minutes. Say to them that all subsidy thieves including Otedollar will be brought behind bars because Go-slow is ready to act, tell them that the Naira will be equal in value to the Kuwaiti Dinar, tell them power generation will increase significantly, that power outage will be a thing of the past, tell them that fuel will cost no more than N20/litre, tell them that Aliyaro will be sacked and the attack lion will be sent back to the zoo. Spread the Gospel my son, Super Eagles will win the AFCON 2013 with or without that Miranda coloured boy.”
Those were the things I saw when I was resting in the hospital bed, I was told while papa was casting out demons, one of them ran into me and I was rushed down here. Though I read Go-slow’s press release this morning, and I strongly believe my prophecy wasn’t fake.
Jah! Jah! Jah!
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.