Rated Twitter! Part 1

by Kev D (@KevinwithanL)

Note: Humour is never outdated, so we just had to put up this hilarious piece by a friend of the house! If you’re hooked to Twitter (admit it, you are) you’ll love this one!

WARNING: This edition is going to be exhaustive and cumbersome. It is also Rated ‘TWITTER’ because it constitutes of lines of severe intellectual depth and subliminals, IQ’s of FB are hereby advised to quit reading because I’m sure you’re already lost… Ah! Shucks…who am I deceiving?

I remember 364 days ago this day, how expectations were high, everyone grateful for a year ending and expectant of the one about to roll in… Fast forward 365 days later and here we are at the threshold of the dawn of another year (I love it when I sound like this, it makes me feel so brilliant… hahaha)

Ok, back to reality. This day (December 31st 2010) is one we will NEVER see again. It’s one that will have lots of people streaming into church (some for the first time), others because it’s the normal end of year tradition to spend it in the presence of God and hear what Pastor will declare the year to be, and yet for some others, its just yet another day to do more cooking and expect the inevitable annoying visitors that will come to your house the next day!

2010 has been a very eventful year for me but I’m going to skip all the events that have shaped the year and delve into the reason why we are here. When I look back on this year some hours from now, my greatest joy won’t be at the amount of money I made, the amounts of hearts I broke, the achievements or awards. My greatest joy will be seeing all the people I call my friends and family make it into the new year with me! Every other thing lost can be recovered but friends and family are gifts you can never have again when lost. On BBM, I’m sure you must have received the presently annoying broadcast of “ping me if I’ve offended you so I can say I’m sorry before the year runs out,” the one of yesterday was “Send me credit if I’ve offended u so I can call and apologise”! The broadcasts will keep coming, however since this is my space and I can say whatever I like (if u vex, u can ga’an hug Optimus prime), I’m gonna be ‘talking’ about all of you; letting out my steam so that I don’t take it into the new year. This might be quite revealing, so if you have a short tolerance span, this will be a nice point to ‘gerraway’…

This edition is dedicated to my friends on Twitter because y’all have made my 2010 worth every minute. You’re the reason I’m addicted to it; I want to always check up on my Twives in the morning when I wake, I want to see who @ero9ja is bullying today, what @SpitGucci has to say etc… God help me! Let’s now jump  into the shout outs and exposés, shall we?

*insert jump here*

Here we go…

The story of my 2010 will not be complete without the star actor of my blog. In fact, she’s the reason I changed my blog from a normal informative thing to an online diary.

‘Barbie’. I’m sorry guys but I cant mention her handle yet, but if you scrutinize the fine girls on my list, she’s definitely the first that will pop out. Lovely sense of humour, sharp tongued, witty, BEAUTYfull, Spirit filled Arsenal lover (yay!) You’ve been a hard nut for me to crack in 2010; friends since 2003; we’ve come a long way. Here we are about to add another year and all I ask *now kneeling before this tweet audience, no ring in hand though* is that you give me a chance to enjoy the rest of your life with you. I really do love you and I know we can make this work… I’m crazy? Yeah I know! You’re SYB, Yeah I know too!

@gigachic: As far as I’m concerned, the wittiest, funniest lady on Twitter, but in real, the sweetest lady I know. Pretty, with a voice to die for, jeez! As in eh, and her giggles are heavenly. Thanks for August –November, I will NEVER forget. You’re one of my TOP blessings of the year. I hope, I still get to be chief bridesmaid o… yels ke! Love you babes.

@Anniefertiti: A TRUE friend in every sense of the word, guys she’s the SI unit of sarcastic, yet I haven’t met any so caring. She literarily nursed me through my downtimes and has proven to be a friend in deed, e remain in NEED…(jokes)… an interesting tweep with a knack for ‘stealing’ all my male friends even in reality o. All of them just get attracted to her. Love you still… Guys she’s single o… You can like to add her, and who knows tomorrow?

@Sumbyjay: Every time I see u on my TL, I smile because you just dey talk your own on the Twitter sha.  E..: “ah!where r this people?” “they r not here now o” “later they will be looking 4 me” “mtschheeeew”. A real friend you’ve proven to be, and like I said, I can’t wait to send my kids to Aunty Sumbo’s for holidays. Love you so much and my respect for youu eh, file! Don’t tosh it!

(To be continued…)

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail