by Taiwo Damilola

As I sat enjoying the solitude of my flat, a neighbor whom I fondly call Baal, cranked up his stereo, thus disturbing the quiet peace I had been reveling in, with KWAM 1’s “Vivid Imagination”. Perhaps he just got a lumpy contract from Alhaji Aliko or even more plausible, is that he had just won some money from Nairabet or one of the other billion online gambling platforms that have suddenly realized the average Nigerian’s unquenchable thirst for the hope of a richer future aided by “free money”. In a sane world, Baal, knowing fully well that he has neighbours wouldn’t crank KWAM 1 that high but then again, this is Nigeria where people and sanity haven’t been on speaking terms SINCE 1960. Baal didn’t turn down the volume of his music until I knocked on his door and told him he was disturbing me. He did turn it down after I asked, but now stares at me like I’m the spawn of satan whenever our paths cross.

We are a country ready to vilify those who do the right thing or come remotely close. People who do the right thing are reduced to pariahs of society; the personas non grata, serving as a warning to those who may consider doing right in the near future. They are such a threat to our famed “Nigerian way” of doing things, that you would be made to think their actions would result to some kind of dystopian future that’s the stuff of nightmares.  Simply put, those who do the right thing in Nigeria are a pain people look forward to dealing with ruthlessly.

Think I’m being dramatic? Let’s look at what’s happening to a certain embattled former chairman, House of Representatives Committee on Appropriation, Abdulmunin Jibrin. I suspect Mr Jibrin is in his office at Green Forest Ltd, thinking he shouldn’t have stirred the hornet’s nest with the budget padding allegations he made. However, allegations or not, he did the right thing. The other members of the house have either stayed quiet about this or showed support for the speaker of the house. In the same vein, Bukola Saraki has his personal supporters club made up of lawmakers, happy to go with him on his court dates. Is it wrong for him to have their support? Maybe not. That’s a discussion for another day.

Recently, Amnesty International released a report “revealing” how Nigeria’s special police squad get’s rich illegally detaining citizens and torturing them just because they can. Amnesty international exposed something we have long gotten used to; as far as I’m concerned, the report might just have said the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. What was baffling though, was when the inspector general of police denied everything in the report in an interview on Al Jazeera. In that jaw dropping interview, I know all the pleasant wishes I had for the members of the Nigerian Police Force. We all know one person who has been directly affected by actions of the Nigerian police. We make jokes about the Nigerian Police; one of my favourites would have to be the one about the policeman who was convinced the license plate number was also the car’s chasis number. We like to share some of these jokes, forgetting the Nigerian police force is also a victim of the “Nigerian way” of doing things.

These and many more routine disregard for what’s right begs the question; what makes it so appealing in our culture to embrace corruption as the norm or the Nigerian way.  Instead of staying away from corrupt practices, we wear it as a shield. We can’t turn the tide of corruption or disorderly conduct in one week, year or even decade. It will take a lot of time and practice to get right. We would have to teach the next generation that there is no “Nigerian way” of doing things but the right way of doing things. We are already assholes but we can help the next generation dodge that bullet.

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Damilola is a happy go lucky writer living in the human mess that is Lagos. He has written for True Love West Africa, Soundcity Blast Magazine and a few other publications in the past