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They wrapped you, but you didn’t do anything | Laycon’s stirring thread about his father is a lesson for us all

Laycon

The loss of a loved one brings up emotions we hoped would remain bottled for longer than we imagine. We hardly want to experience losing anything, not to mention a loved one. We, sometimes, even react animatedly when an acquaintance dies and come to understand that we are not as strong as we claim to be.

When you lose something or someone, It can seem like the pain that comes with grief will never end. It takes only time and memories to understand that things get better at some point. Sometimes, telling our story helps us get better. This is probably what Big Brother Naija reality TV show contestant, Laycon, did with this story about his father:

With reality tv star (in the making, if you must add), the loss came to him at a point where he didn’t expect it. He was probably not lucky enough to say goodbye. But, not too many people even like to say it.

Asides from all the pain you will feel, there is the anger. You may start to change your approach to certain things in life. After a big loss, a few people feel like doing things differently or doing nothing at all, for others it is a moment of realisation on bigger things that life may not have presented from the onset.

It might be helpful to think of grief like the sea. Sometimes the tide gets so strong that you can feel totally out of control. Other times it gives you the feeling that you can manage to make movements along with the waves. The pain of grief can come in huge waves, smaller waves, or sideways waves – and just like when you’re at the beach, there are times you may not see the wave coming, and times where there are periods of calm between waves.

However you want to look at it, you may end up feeling like you’re out of control – which is totally fine – the one thing you can do to help yourself is LIVING. Grief isn’t depression. But it’s important to know that grief can leave you vulnerable to becoming depressed in the future. If you’re not sure what’s happening for you, it can be helpful to reach out for support.

We have all lost something before and feel at some point that life may not be worth living anymore. But the sooner we accept that it’s all part of the journey, the better for us. Grief isn’t depression, it is a basic human feeling.

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