The loss of a loved one brings up emotions we hoped would remain bottled for longer than we imagine. We hardly want to experience losing anything, not to mention a loved one. We, sometimes, even react animatedly when an acquaintance dies and come to understand that we are not as strong as we claim to be.

When you lose something or someone, It can seem like the pain that comes with grief will never end. It takes only time and memories to understand that things get better at some point. Sometimes, telling our story helps us get better. This is probably what Big Brother Naija reality TV show contestant, Laycon, did with this story about his father:

I had hoped you’d be able to tell me what it was you wanted to say when I got home. But 4am my bro called, and I just knew, he obviously didn’t call to check up on me. I refused to pick his call, then he called again and again. I know you know all these cause you were there.

— Laycon Official? #BBnaija (@itsLaycon) December 8, 2019

Yeah I got a record deal, Put out a single, got on MTV base top ten chart, all in 2019. 2018 was rough though. But who am I kidding, u’re overseeing everything innit? Lol. u’re one tricky man, u’ve always been a tricky man. Look here, the past few months have been crazy though.

— Laycon Official? #BBnaija (@itsLaycon) December 8, 2019

I feel like we’ll link up soon though. Iono y I feel dat way, bt it creeps in nd goes. Like obviously my days on earth get shorter everyday so our link up day gets closer everyday? I’m nt suicidal though, Its jst tots. Dis is d longest conversation ive ad wit u in a long while.

— Laycon Official? #BBnaija (@itsLaycon) December 8, 2019

I asked you to get up on that day but apparently that’s beyond your power. But look after Mum please, help me to take care of her please. I really need you to come through for me. If you need to go meet God or Allah or whoever is up there to beg, go do it please.

— Laycon Official? #BBnaija (@itsLaycon) December 8, 2019

Seemed like a crazy ass movie tbh… I know you saw me crying, u did, didn’t you? I mean I stood there crying… thinking I’ll never hear u talk again, knowing I’ll never see your face again. It’s crazy, but why’d u go though? Like I wasn’t even signed yet and u left. Why though?

— Laycon Official? #BBnaija (@itsLaycon) December 8, 2019

I’m trying to understand it. Lol.. I can’t even come close to rationalizing any of it. I heard your voice though, on your Wife’s phone. She misses you a lot too. We were going through her phone and we found a voice recording of you guys talking. I bet she listens to it everyday.

— Laycon Official? #BBnaija (@itsLaycon) December 8, 2019

With reality tv star (in the making, if you must add), the loss came to him at a point where he didn’t expect it. He was probably not lucky enough to say goodbye. But, not too many people even like to say it.

Asides from all the pain you will feel, there is the anger. You may start to change your approach to certain things in life. After a big loss, a few people feel like doing things differently or doing nothing at all, for others it is a moment of realisation on bigger things that life may not have presented from the onset.

It might be helpful to think of grief like the sea. Sometimes the tide gets so strong that you can feel totally out of control. Other times it gives you the feeling that you can manage to make movements along with the waves. The pain of grief can come in huge waves, smaller waves, or sideways waves – and just like when you’re at the beach, there are times you may not see the wave coming, and times where there are periods of calm between waves.

However you want to look at it, you may end up feeling like you’re out of control – which is totally fine – the one thing you can do to help yourself is LIVING. Grief isn’t depression. But it’s important to know that grief can leave you vulnerable to becoming depressed in the future. If you’re not sure what’s happening for you, it can be helpful to reach out for support.

We have all lost something before and feel at some point that life may not be worth living anymore. But the sooner we accept that it’s all part of the journey, the better for us. Grief isn’t depression, it is a basic human feeling.

See reactions to Laycon’s Thread:

This hit me differently! My dad is alive but I can't stop my tears. I didn't even intend to cry, but…. Olamilekan Agbeleshebioba Moshood, may you be victorious, may you triumph ?. You see this show you are on, you will win and be declared winner, you will excel afterwards. ILY

— kneeks confectionery (@AdenikeWaliyah) September 9, 2020

This breaks my heart? but Icons love you so much ?

— L Y D O N? (@Shayor19) September 9, 2020

Olamilekan, you won't just win bbnaija and fade away. No, you will keep shining, keep prospering, your dreams will come true. U will live a successful and fulfilled life. Wa gbe ile she bi oba, Ola e a ma posi. 'Laycon', you will become a popular force to be reckoned with. Aameen

— kneeks confectionery (@AdenikeWaliyah) September 9, 2020

This is the same guy someone want dead. This world is so cruel.

— King ? Abayomi ?? (@Yhormite01) September 9, 2020

This is so sad, I can relate to everything you said bro I lost my dad few weeks ago and it still feels like I'm dreaming… I pray may there souls continue to rest in perfect peace ?♥?

— GMC ? (@iamshaqur23) September 9, 2020