Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Smurf

"Show me your trophy cabinet for the past 10years"
And thats how you win a Liverpool in an argument
Works every time, you can thank me later??? pic.twitter.com/hmToXOehku

— Smurf Clumsy (@rogue_kvng) February 13, 2018

Lol! But no one is looking at history. Counter argument: “We’re the champions NOW, forget that history”.

2. Simi

The singer gives women some ‘push’.

As a woman,
When you know what you want,
Speak well,
Are assertive,
Confident,
And a gaddem fighter –

Some say you’re proud. Well, I guess I’m proud bro. Proud of it too!

— Simi (@SympLySimi) February 13, 2018

Tell us more honey!

3. Omojuwa

Loyalty is when everybody wins. One person winning and others working like donkeys without winning isn’t loyalty, that is slavery. Loyalty is the code for me and my team. We all win!

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) February 13, 2018

Mutual benefits!

How many understand this though?

4. Pepeye

People are so used to dismissing rape victims and looking for the other side of the story (read being on the side of the rapist) that even a 3year old is being touted as falsely accusing a man. A 3 year old baby!

— Princess Pepisko Pepeye (@MissIgho) February 13, 2018

5. Shehu Sani

And the Senator speaks…

Power is as big as a ballon,truth is as small as a pin.

— Senator Shehu Sani (@ShehuSani) February 13, 2018

6. Samantha

The representative of the Valentine women has this to say:

Males so bitter about Valentines Day and talking how they'll be in church tomorrow. First of all no one asked to be taken out boy. We gonna be in church too, praying for our future husbands.

— BOBO (@SamanthaNyobia) February 13, 2018

Are they really bitter though? They are just bothered that they have to spend so much just to celebrate one day!

7. Onyeoziri

This question though.

Can sex that didn't last beyond 2 mins still be counted as fornication? if yes, is it the same hell fire that 2 mins fornicator and 2 hours fornicator will end up in? asking for a cousin though

— FAVOUR ONYEOZIRI (GCFR) (@Rouvafe) February 12, 2018

Some replies:

Somebody that stole maggi in a market and somebody that stole money from NNPC account, both of them are Thief

— Atilola Ridwan (@iam_Reedone) February 12, 2018

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at the tweet

— Ogundijo Segun (@shigoubouncing) February 12, 2018

It shouldn't be the same..I didn't enjoy anything ?

— WI CKED BOi (@iamopdate) February 12, 2018

8. Asampete

Everyone has a story. Don’t be afraid to have your story, told.

— #SoarSuperEagles (@blossomozurumba) February 13, 2018

For every creative haul and expression, the storytelling component determines how phenomenal it can be.

— #SoarSuperEagles (@blossomozurumba) February 13, 2018