by  Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]

[23rd May – 28th May, 2011]

MONDAY: It was the week after Evangelist Camping had predicted the world would end. “So the world didn’t end afterall?” @buleewix asked rhetorically. “Mehn! The thought of all the work that I have to do is depressing!” Like they say, different strokes for different folks.  @Mz_babefacy wasn’t feeling too well today. “I can’t start a new week wit sickness ooo!” she declared in her tweet. For @iviebaileys, she started the week with a hangover. “I woke up tired, not the kind of tiredness like it’s too early.  It’s the kind when you’re just tired of all the shit.” She tweeted. @nice_beebee was tired just yet of chasing some girl. “That is how I went to dryclean this suit I’m wearing to work today o!” he told us in his tweet. “And na becos of that chic for 2^nd floor wey I dey chase. She must gree noni!” @twaadril was already tired of doing to school though. She said so in her tweet. “F*ck academics mehn… I don tire!..some pple re nt educated yet dey ride posh cars nd live in huge mansions…”

TUESDAY: In @pwitti_mee’s school however, everyone seemed to be involved in one business or the other and she apparently joined them. “Since evryone in dis hostel is nw sellin sumthin, ayaf decided to start selling body parts too!” she tweeted. @bimbsbaby wasn’t happy about the weight she was adding on. Her tweet was: “My body is just feeling too big these days.. And gyming is not an option o! *sigh*” @bryanblazers was having a nice time wherever he was. “Staying outside Lagos is difficult.” He said in his tweet. “That excludes abroad but I love this place because it’s super peaceful and without traffic, noise, etc.” @cutestblackchic wanted to remain in traffic. “I thought I wasn’t going to survive tht traffic,” she tweeted. “But as soon as I picked up my blackberry to tweet and ping, I got to wher I was going in 5mins. No kiddin!”

WEDNESDAY: It was taking longer than usual for @KourtneyIfy’s timeline to refresh and she didn’t find it funny. “My BB for twitter hasn’t refreshed for the past 5hrs!” she fumed in her tweet. “ Whatever pushed me to upgrade it, I’ll never know☹”@deRENI didn’t know exactly who it was that talked to her at the bus station. Her tweet was: “It’s 4am. Was standing waiting for my bus. White man asks where I’m from and speaks Yoruba to me. Angel or jazz?”  In @Suru_lere’s opinion, there were two football players he will never bother to read about. “I think readin any news abt Tevez n Balotelli is a waste of time…” he tweeted. An event that made the news all week was the President’s lunch with some young people. @OkShorty1 had one question for those who were part of it. “If you attended the #GEJLunch and you collected the thank you/per diem/PR/facilitation/bribe money, I want to know what you were thinking!” he asked.

THURSDAY:  @OfficialKaphone felt twitter should always ask tweeters some questions before putting up their tweets. “Twitter gotta  start asking peeps…Yu read That?? Or Are You in school?? .. before updating successfully #Jussaying” he said in his tweet. @lanrelee thought his week was already successful as he sealed a big deal. “Okay ppl, even if I dnt work for the nxt two months, I no go hungry!” he announced. @SIREradical was spending time watching some Nollywood films to crack himself up. He told us about the films in his tweet. “I think I’ll also rent Men In Love…… I want to LMAO in a hard way….. And maybe blackberry babes…..” The slow speed with which @twaadril got notifications wasn’t because of his blackberry but the network. “Ma TL refreshes every 1hr interval…it takes 5min to post a tweet successfully and 30min to get a reply… All dese #BecauseOfMtn ☹” he complained.

FRIDAY: @iktripz was accepting all pending friends request on facebook because it was a special day for him. His tweet was “Yes!! I’m sccepting all pending facebook requests today… It’s my birthday jo…making new friends..lol”. It was also Children’s day and @TundeEdnut sent congratulatory messages to all the ‘kids’. “Freshkid, Wizkid, Saucekid and all the other kids… Happy Children’s Day!” @happyBBB was ironically not happy because of some news she got. “I just got scary news. The devil is a huge liar. I come against all signs and showings of illness and weakness in my family!” she prayed in her tweet.

SATURDAY: @BabyCross’ prayer today was: “The day is finally here. Lord grant #TeamManU success. J”. It was the Champions League final and the excitement had reached fever pitch even on twitter. @PengBoiz was very optimistic. “Ok so the line up that nailed Schalke 04 in Germany will be starting today! #TeamUnited Let’s have it!” he tweeted. After 90 minutes of complete domination and awe-inspiring football, Barcelona won the 2010/2011 Champions League. “In 13years of being a Man U fan, I’ve never felt so helpless,” @OvieO tweeted after the game. @Ms_gidifabulous wouldn’t have any of it as she taunted them. “I’m sorry, but Arsenal beat Barca this year. Chelsea has also done it before. So Man Utd, wats ur excuse today??”

Gbagaun of the week: Have your pick!

@bessmoses: If u mingle wit loosers u would always be a loosers

@t4tobi: So apparently 3 Barca attackers has scored a goal..

@Ogayemmy: Can’t wait to be live my life…

@dhebbur: Good to seen Abidal playing… Thank God for the dude’s life…

@deolasugarr: Jus wanna be respected and apreciation

@Wale: I don’t got to joint illumanti just to buy a new bugatti -@meekmill.

@wummydero: Reading can weak ur sum1z soul sha!!

@parker8790: Yaaaaaay dis sun can fried egg..

@Sal_VaDoR_: This 2 tweeps on my TL doesn’t sleep!

@Akpraise: Dont be 2 giggled, I wrote dat purpose.

@Ozibabe91: Am too beauty,that every boy want to has a taste …

@kaysleek007: @Slimboi_D hapi buffday bros ∫ wld av kald buh d network is so sucks pls dnt anger on me

@Dellzlumiz: #ifsexwasasport I would made my family and country proud!

@onaksssss: @Mz_Tosyn Don Jazzy gave you a 1000 followers in a day wow

@valerie_ike: I am know awesome people! And that can only mean one thing about me B-)

@xsta_xxx: Lady gaga God forgive you sha but i hoping that Holy Spirit wont.

@dejialao: adele is very talent but she sings sad songs…

@Namdey: 23mins to gone

@jummyke: I eat 2hrs ago n am still hungry

@ohenebaqwesi: Can’t believe I woked up early

@thnjoe: It’s 2:45am I shouldn’t having slept all damn afternoon lol

Recommended: Follow @Olukanye, @Moji_Uche and @Chyychy this week.

Rant of the week: @Shakar_EL:James Whale is a pure stupid Anti African tosser….ahhhhh I remember it is freedom of speech, I suppose use bottle cut ur grey hair

Tweet of the week: @unclevee: How come when u watch porn, even at volume level one, u feel like someone outside ur bedroom door can hear d sound??!

Retweet of the week: @lipslikehony tweeted at @DONJAZZYMOHITS  and said, “Wow! she’s so cute. Can I have her pin pls? @DONJAZZYMOHITS retweeted and said “21MUMU2”

Seriously tweeting: @DONOZONE: Na wa ooo.. hanging out with peeps off twitter can cause BS!! Which kind mention be dat? Is your FATHER mad?

Quote my tweet: @toluogunlesi: We might be activists, but we’re also citizens abeg. Jona is the Presido. Having lunch with him is not selling-out jor!