by Umari Ayim

 

I swallow and tell Chika that Paulette has something to do with them. Chika frowns quizzically at me, trying to understand my words because her mind is suddenly full of questions.

 

– Read Episode 1 of the compelling story HERE.

– Read Episode 2 of the compelling story HERE.

– Read Episode 3 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 4 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 5 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 6 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 7 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 8 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 9 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 10 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 11 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 12 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 13 of the compelling story HERE

– Read Episode 14 of the compelling story HERE

Episode 15

Jude’s Kiss, My Paulette Admission And Breaking Glasses

 

I raise my eyes from the computer screen where I am researching on auditing when Rita knocks and pokes her head through the door.

“I am going to get lunch, ma.”

I nod and tell her that she can take as much time as she wants.

“Thank you very much ma.”

The door closes and I return my eyes back to the screen, but only for a moment because my phone begins to vibrate on my desk. With a sigh, I reach for it. I am surprised to see who is calling.

“Good afternoon.”

“How are you Tamisho?”

“I am doing great.”

“Good.”

Richard’s mother and I give in to a short silence that lasts for a few seconds.

“So…em…is everything okay?”

“Well, I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.”

“It is about my son.”

I lean away from my desk and settle back in my seat. Even though there is considerable distance between Mrs. Abidemi and me, I am almost certain I can hear her disturbed thoughts. My mother-in-law asks me if Richard has told me anything about their relationship.

“No.”

“Well, it is a little bit strained at the moment,” Richard’s mother pauses to give a dry laugh. “In fact it has been strained for a very, very long time.”

I am thrown off balance by Mrs. Abidemi’s words. There is nothing in the way Richard behaves that suggests he has problems with his mother. I use the opportunity of a pause to ask myself how I could have missed the signs, and then I remember that the Abidemis held closed door sessions with their son when they visited, so there was no way I could tell that something was amiss between Richard and his mother.

“I am sorry to hear this.”

“Thank you.”

Since her last visit to the house, I have a feeling that Richard’s mother has been itching to share more of her past with me.

“There are other things I want to talk to you about,” my mother-in-law says, confirming my suspicions. “Other things I did not talk about when I visited your home last time.”

“Okay. ”

There is another pause, but I know our conversation is far from over. I endure the sound of rustling as Richard’s mother appears to be moving around at the other end of the phone. Finally, the rustling settles down.

“Richard’s father and I separated a year after the death of Roland.”

I hear about the anguish of having to deal with the death of her son and the growing mistrust between her and Richard’s father. There is a break in my mother-in-law’s voice as she talks about the months following the death of Richard’s twin.

“There was no one to talk to….I became close with…” Mrs. Abidemi seems to change her mind about something. “I really should not disturb you with such stories when you are at work. We should do this when you are less busy. Goodbye for now, dear.”

I pull the phone away from my ear and wonder what Richard’s mother had wanted to tell me. I find myself wishing she was in the same room with me so I can find my answers in her mind. I am still thinking about my mother-in-law’s strange behaviour when another knock sounds on the door.

“Hello Tamisho,” Jude greets, walking in with a disarming smile.

I welcome the distraction of his presence for a moment, and give up trying to understand the mystery surrounding my mother-in-law’s words.

“Hi there, Jude.”

Jude pulls one of the chairs opposite me and asks if I am having a good day.

“I think I am.”

Jude finds my response funny and laughs. “Why do you have to think? You should know when you are having a good or not.”

I laugh with Jude, finding myself completely relaxed with him. These days, our friendship has been progressing steadily to the point of familarity. I know he likes me, but it has been a long time since he has displayed an overt action conveying his interest and I am ready to forget that fact. I enjoy his friendship and wish he keeps it platonic.

“So, how is work going?”

As usual, Jude has not found any incriminating evidence against the auditor.

“I don’t want to rush things though,” Jude says, trying to explain his slow progress. “I still need to comb carefully through every financial report the company has had in these few years.”

“Okay.”

Jude angles his head and considers me for some minutes. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure,” I tell Jude with a nod and a wide smile. “I am pretty good with secrets.”

“Great,” Jude says, rubbing his hands together and leaning forward. “I want you to help me out with these documents.”

I narrow my eyes to the point of squinting at Jude. “What documents?”

“The financial records.”

I tell Jude that his request means that I will be stepping outside the boundaries of my responsibilities as assistant administrative manager.

“No one has to know,” he says, giving me a wink that makes him look like a naughty child.

I think of Richard’s last reaction at meeting Jude in my office last time. Spending more hours with Jude is going to cause friction between me and Richard. I am enjoying our relationship too much these days to want to jeopardize my happiness.

I shake my head at Jude. “I don’t think that is a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Richard might not like it.”

Jude nods. “I see.”

I turn and look at the computer screen as Jude appears to be busy with his phone. I feel his eyes some minutes later and look up at him. He is watching me with a serious look. A heavy silence slowly replaces the friendly and relaxed atmosphere we have been enjoying these past few minutes.

“Can I come over there?” Jude asks with a smile. Without waiting for my answer, he places his two hands flat on the arm rest of his chair, and pulls himself to his feet. I open my mouth to ask what he is doing, but he is already walking towards me. I watch in shock when he comes to my side of the desk.

“Can you stand up?”

“Why?”

“I just want to look in your eyes.”

I shake my head. “I am married, Jude. This is sort of… inappropriate.”

Jude says nothing, so I turn back to my computer, but I return my attention to Jude when I feel his hand on my arm. He pulls me to my feet and I stumble towards his chest in surprise. After that, everything happens in a blur.

The lowering of Jude’s head. The slight brush of lips. My shock. The door that opens to reveal Richard and Tokunbo. The barely concealed anger on Richard’s face. The sneer on Tokunbo’s face. Jude’s hastily offered apology and the stumbling back to my chair as soon as I can push Jude away.

“I am sorry Tamisho,” Jude says, looking apologetic as Richard leaves the office without a word, Tokunbo following shortly behind.

I struggle to keep my shaking under control and tell Jude,

“I think you should just leave.”

Jude does just that and I am nothing but an unresponsive robot for the rest of the day. When nightfall arrives, I am reluctant to leave my desk. I am reluctant to face Richard.

 

*************************

 

My reflection is surprisingly understanding and sympathetic when I return home.

“It was not really your fault,” she tells me with a shake of her head. “You did not see that coming.”

“But…Richard!”

There is nodding at the other end of the mirror as my reflection says,

“I know, I know.”

“He will never believe anything I have to say about what happened.”

“He is probably angry right now.”

I groan and rest my head on the counter top. “What am I going to do now?”

I hear my reflection begin to pace up and down her bathroom. Raising my head, I look at her hopefully.

“What do you think I should tell him when he comes?”

My reflection stops her pacing and walks back to me.

“Just tell him the truth.”

I sigh and bite my lower lip. “I don’t think he will believe me.”

My reflection urges me once more to face Richard with my explanation. I give her a sober nod and spend the next few minutes freshening up for the evening.

I feed and rock Toju to sleep. When I leave the nursery, it is almost 8 p.m and Richard is not yet back. My phone begins to ring just as I return to the bedroom.

“Hello Chika.”

Chika senses my withdrawn mood from my tone because she asks immediately if I am okay. I clear my voice and decide to hide my misery from my friend.

“Yes, I am. How are you doing?”

Chika has problems of her own. They are in the form of bad dreams and the fear of something bad happening to her unborn child.

“I am scared Tamisho….I really want this baby. My husband has changed a lot these past weeks because of this baby, I don’t want to lose him again.”

I push my own troubles aside at the note of desolation in Chika’s voice.

“Don’t worry Chika, everything will be fine.”

“No…it will not,” Chika says in a small voice. “I have been having these dreams….”

I ask Chika to share her dreams with me and she does. As we move to the part of the third dream where she sees herself holding what appears to be a bloody fetus, my sense of urgency grows and I ask her if she is alone at home.

“No…why?”

“Because we have to talk.”

“Okay.”

I throw on a short black belted dress and hurry to Chika’s house. On the way to her house, I call her and ask her to meet me outside the house because I am concerned about returning back home as soon as possible. When the security man opens Chika’s gates, I find her standing at the corner of the compound where several pots of flowers pots sit in full bloom.

“So what did you want to tell me?”

I breathe in and pray for good luck. If only Shadda was here, I think to myself as Chika waits with bated breath for what I have to tell her.

“It is about all the dreams you have been having these past days.”

Chika nods and says, “Yeah, what about them?”

I swallow and tell Chika that Paulette has something to do with them. Chika frowns quizzically at me, trying to understand my words because her mind is suddenly full of questions.

What does she mean? What is she trying to tell me?

“Chika, there is something about Paulette. I think she is a witch.”

Chika steps back as if I have just slapped her. Her hand flying to her throat, she asks me in a shock filled voice to repeat what I have just told her, and I do.

The sounds of cars passing on the road is all we hear as neither of us say anything, but my mind is working hard to come up with an acceptable explanation for my allegation against her cousin’s daughter. I don’t want to talk about my powers with Chika, but at the same time, I desperately want to validate my claim.

“I have this ability…to see…” I think of the right word and settle for, “visions.”

“And your vision showed you that Paulette is a witch?” Chika asks me with wide eyes.

“Yes.”

Chika shakes her head, and then pulls her long yellow cardigan together to protect her against the chill of the evening wind.

“I think you just crossed the line there.”

I reach for Chika’s right hand. She lets me pull it away from the pocket of her cardigan, but her eyes remain guarded and very wary.

“I think you should listen to me with your mind, not your heart.”

Chika begins to shake her head but I am not giving her any chance.

“Can you do something for me?”

“What?”

“Can you try to stop Paulette from going to bed early.”

“How do you know she goes to bed early?”

I give a long tired sigh. “Chika, I already told you, I have this…thing with the visions.”

“How come I am just learning about this now?”

I want to throw back my head and scream with frustration at the dark night sky, but I manage to keep the impulse under control.

“Remember the day I told you, Sarah, Bidemi, Patricia, and Patricia about the circle of light, do –“

“You said it was a ritual your grandmother taught you,” Chika says, cutting me short, an accusing look in her eyes. “You said nothing about the visions.”

“Okay, I am telling you about it now.”

Chika is still a picture of defiance as I begin to tell her about finding excuses to keep Paulette awake.

“You can even try midnight praying with her. Keep me informed about what happens afterward.”

Chika turns back to cast a look at her house before turning to me.

“I really don’t know Tamisho,” she tells me, a shiver running her body. I watch her pull her cardigan tighter around her body and decide to call it a night.

“Just do it,” I tell Chika one final time and throw my arms around her in a hug before hurrying back home to face the waiting storm.

 

****************************

 

I find Richard in his study when I get back home. There is a scowl on his face as soon as I open the door.

“Yes?”

I stop at his desk and clutch the chairs in front of me for support.

“I think we should talk.”

Richard returns his attention to scribbling on the papers before him.

“I am busy.”

I ignore his curt tone and move towards him. He raises his head just as I round his desk.

“I don’t want you any closer, Tamisho.”

I draw to a stop a few inches from him. “Can we please talk?”

“I already said no.”

I take one careful step towards Richard and die a thousand deaths at the withering look he gives me.

“I wasn’t kissing him.”

Richard ignores me and goes back to working on his papers. His brows are knotted in a thick frown as he works.

I hate to sound pathetic but I do anyway, “Please?”

Richard drops his pen with a loud clatter on his desk and turns to me with cold eyes.

“You had me fooled for a minute, Tamisho.”

I watch in bewilderment as a sneer crosses his lips. The condemnation in his eyes is clear and damning.

“I was not expecting Jude to do what he did.”

Richard leans back in his seat and crosses his arms against his chest.

“How many times did you kiss…or maybe….sleep with him?”

I flinch involuntarily and open my mouth at Richard.

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

Richard shrugs carelessly, and leans forward to his desk again.

“It’s the same way I can’t believe you would stoop so low to indulge in an office romance with someone on my payroll.”

I feel the wetness on my cheeks before I even realize that I am crying. Richard looks at me coolly, completely unimpressed with my distress.

“I just want you to know that there is nothing going on between me and Jude.”

“Great,” Richard says, picking up his pen. “And goodnight. I have things to do.”

I have no idea how I manage to make it to the door, but somehow I do.

That night I return to my old room and it welcomes me with open arms. I spend hours in fits of tears, unable to sleep. It is 4 a.m before I am exhausted enough to succumb to sleep. When I wake up early, I find myself up against something solid. I reach out my fingers and encounter flesh. Just as I am reaching up to find the light switch, I feel strong hands stop me. I can’t see Richard’s face, but I can sense his presence. I can sense the anger and restlessness in him.

I decide to plead once more. “Can we just talk?”

“No.”

His kiss is hard and punishing when it comes. I struggle to touch him, to claim that intimacy that is part of our lovemaking, but he moves faster than I can keep up, and away from me. There are no words of seduction, only a need to stake his claim, and then, it ends without warning.

When he leaves me alone, I touch my neck where his face was buried and feel a wetness there. I am mulling about the possibility of Richard crying when I hear the crash of something breaking. I scramble out of bed towards the sound. My first stop is the nursery. When I am sure that Toju is safe and sound, I rush to our bedroom. Richard is not there, but I hear the sounds in the bathroom and knock on the door. Richard has a towel around his waist when he opens the door.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine, thank you.”

The door closes in my face and I stare at it for some time. I manage to drag myself from the door and pick up my phone from the nightstand. I choose my former bedroom again for privacy. Richard’s mother picks up the call just before the ringing ends.

“Hello dear, it is a surprise to hear from you this early in the day. Is everything okay?”

I am unable to catch the sob that escapes my throat when I explain my experience with Jude to her. Mrs. Abidemi is all ears and silence. When I am tired of hearing myself cry, I wait for whatever she has to say.

“I am so sorry about what is happening between you and Richard dear…but you see, it is really my fault this is happening. I should have cleared the air a long time ago.”

“I am not sure I understand,” I tell Richard’s mother, hugging myself with my free hand.

“Richard witnessed my relationship with his father go very bad before his teenage years. I am not proud of what I did afterwards.”

For the second time since our last call a few hours ago, I wish I could read my mother-in-law’s mind to understand her words.

“We should meet one of these days. You will understand why Richard is behaving this way. Why he was aloof with you in the first place.”

I end the call soon after. The day after tomorrow is our pick for a lunch date. She will come and pick me up from the office and we will go to a restaurant nearby to talk. I lie back in bed and decide that I cannot face Richard, Jude or Tokunbo.

“Shadda,” I whisper as I hug my pillow to my chest. “Where are you? I am so lost right now.”

Shadda does not appear, and I am left with no choice than to remember the events of the few hours. Chika thinks I am out of my mind and my husband thinks I am a cheat. I close my eyes and allow my numbness to lead me back to sleep as the city moves and throbs with the activities of a new day.

 

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Umari Ayim is the author of ‘Twilight at Terracotta Indigo’ and ‘Inside my Head’ both winners of the 2011 ANA NDDC Flora Nwapa prize and 2012 Poetry prize respectively.

Umari blogs at www.umariayim.com and tweets from @umariayim