You are counting all the people who didn’t say yes to you, didn’t stay with you, didn’t love you the way you deserved, who broke your heart viciously, who didn’t give as much as you gave, who treated you like dirt.
You’re amassing evidence against yourself that you’re unloveable, that you can’t get what you deserve, that you’re unattractive, that there is something wrong with you?
When did quantity begin to trump quality?
What about that one person who loved you so greatly, so dearly, who would give his or her life for you, who would sacrifice greatly, leave behind plenty, who stood by you when no one else cared, or tried? Who loved you, loves you, and showed it?
Fellow traveler, you better love yourself enough to know that because that love came easily, it doesn’t mean you get to cheapen it.
You have already been greatly loved by someone else at some point; you just didn’t love yourself enough to know that you deserve to be loved that easily, with no pain, shame or regret.
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Chude Jideonwo is host of the TV and radio network #WithChude, which is creating safe spaces for conversations about mental, emotional and spiritual health across Africa. He is also co-founder of human flourishing company, Joy, Inc.