Aderonke Adebanjo : The man code

I remember talking about the Girl Code a little while ago – those unspoken rules among women that affect women. But this time around, I wanna talk about the guys and the code that guides and informs their actions. I have to say, it can be a little frustrating dealing with guys (and I’m sure they’d say the same about women). Let me explain: You meet a guy, you guys connect. He seems interesting and interested. Essentially, there’s hope (Lol) or at least there seems to be and then all of a sudden, things change and you can’t seem to figure out why he’s acting the way he is. Your friends say maybe he’s intimidated, some people say he’s probably not really interested, others say he’s building his case or planning his strategy but all of this doesn’t change the fact that you are confused. Then there are the things he does that compound the situation. You know, call today, doesn’t call for a month. When you think about the connection you felt with him when you first met and possibly in subsequent meetings, you wonder why he doesn’t initiate conversation. He tells you he’ll call and he doesn’t. It’s clear that he thoroughly enjoys your company and he uses every opportunity to hang out with you but after a month or so, he introduces you to his girlfriend! Say what? The list goes on and I’m sure the ladies can add to the frustrating things guys do that confuse us!

So my question is how do we decode the Man Code?

–          If a guy doesn’t initiate conversation, does that mean he’s not interested?

–          If he doesn’t call when he said he would, does that speak of his character?

–          If he doesn’t pay for your drink or movie ticket, does that make him stingy and is that a red flag?

–          If you connect with him every time you bump into him around town i.e. you have fun, you laugh, etc. but he never reaches out by phone and you do most of the calling and reaching out, does that mean he’s not interested?

I might add more to this list later but I think you get my point.

So, gentlemen, tell me, what’s the deal with your code? If you like a girl, why don’t you just come out and say it most of the time*? If you don’t like her, why do you sometimes lead her on…hopelessly??

Adebanjo blogs at The Love Chest.

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