by Cheta Nwanze

Okay, now that I’m on my lunch break, let me type a little.

Nigerian leaders are generally poor. Anyone who says otherwise is on an exercise in ostriching. Having said that, Nigerians have developed a sad habit of ostriching when “their leaders” are involved. By “their leaders”, I mean influential people who happen to belong to the same ethnic group.

After I gave my opinion on what I consider a travesty of a meeting, which happened yesterday, someone, somewhere decided that my criticism of the men of yesterday means that I’m “a confirmed hailer”. This, the day after loads of “confirmed hailers” camped on my TL throwing vitriol.

That’s a small aside, but it gives an insight into our mindset. When we don’t agree with someone, our first impulse is to go ad hominem and label the person. This sets the person up as “other”, and then we can attack.

Now to the meat…

One time, I’d been guilty of not examining a “leader” thoroughly. Like most of you reading this, whether you were critical of the guy or not, I’m paying for that one time. The lesson I have drawn is to look at ALL the actions of our “leaders” from a cynical lens, and then draw conclusions.

I have limited time, so let us now look at some of these demands:

Ogoni cleanup and environmental remediation: On the surface a reasonable demand. But it’s already something that the FG has committed to. A better demand would have been to extract a commitment on WHEN it will start, and the timeline.

Review of the Presidential Amnesty Programme: The PAP, everyone knows, is unsustainable. It also is not working. What is more important is that members of the “Niger Delta leader” class made away with money from the PAP like bandits. These “leaders” should not be asking someone else to review PAP.  They should be a) giving us an alternative, and b) telling us what they are doing to get people like Mr. Kuku to come and answer questions.

Prompt take-off of the Maritime University: Again another placebo. We have God-knows-how-many-universities in Nigeria that are underfunded, and aren’t producing proper graduates. Opening new ones is a waste of time and we all know it. If you are a serious leader, why not jockey for increased funding for Uniport, RSUST, Delsu, and importantly, commit to having that funding tied to outcomes?

Relocation of admin and operational headquarters of IOCs: Now this one is just plain laughable. I won’t dignify it by talking about it.

Restructuring and funding of NDDC: Okay, forgive me if I’m ignorant here, but has the NDDC ever been denied of funds? Has someone from outside the Niger Delta ever run the NDDC? Who should be restructuring it?

Inclusive participation in oil industry and ownership of oil blocs: I wrote an entire piece on this one this morning, for which I’ve been accused of collecting money from the FG to attack Niger Delta leaders.

Fiscal federalism: Now the truth is this – I have advocated for fiscal federalism, restructuring (insert word here) for a long time. Given the frankly abysmal government that President Buhari is running, this fiscal federalism has become a buzz word. Let us not kid ourselves. For five years, a Niger Delta son, Goodluck Jonathan, was President, Federal Republic of Nigeria. For five years, the only South South politician of note who asked for fiscal federalism was Liyel Imoke, and he was told to shut it. The exact words were, “na now wey we dey na im you wan scatter Naija?” It was told to Liyel on September 30, 2011. I won’t tell who said it, BUT, what is important, is that the FG behaved like that following that statement. There was NOT A SINGLE Bill put in front of that class of the National Assembly, that would have set us on the path to fiscal federalism. And please don’t tell me about the 2014 confab. It was a “come chop”. Abacha’s 1995 confab did more for fiscal federalism than that tokenist party. Lest I be accused of not being constructive, anyone who really wants fiscal federalism should head to the National Assembly, and push for a Bill to prune the Exclusive Legislative List. I am tired of buzz words. Heck, in the last year the only person who has come out to speak against “fiscal federalism” is Tanko Yakassai. I appreciate his honesty. All the others, including these Niger Delta “leaders”, should the wheel turn and they find themselves again resident in Abuja, they will put all the talk of “fiscal federalism” in a crack where the sun don’t shine.

Key regional critical infrastructure: Anyone who is serious about “key regional critical infrastructure” will have attended the meeting with a list. A proper list arrived at after due consultation. So, let’s ask. Has due consultation been had? If yes, when was it had, and what infrastructure was decided to be most important to the region that needs to go first? Truth is that in a time of a dwindling national pot, you can’t build all at once. So, which is number one? Anybody? Is it the stadium in Uyo? Is it the East-West road? Is it the rail line? Is it a second bridge linking the South South to the South East? Again, just so I won’t be accused of mouthing off, were I asked what is the number one priority for the Niger Delta at this time, I’d say the A2, A3, and A4. For the record, working on any will make no sense if the FG retains control of ports in the Exclusive List.

Power supply in the region tied to gas supplies: Again another red herring. Why not instead ask for a decentralisation of power supply? You are still leaving a situation where Abuja controls everything, and it can easily deteriorate when we get complacent.

Strengthening the Niger Delta Ministry: Does this really merit a response? Given the constant bickering between this ministry and the NDDC, will it not make sense to scrap the ministry? What have they achieved anyway since inception? I’m listening…

Law and justice tearing some aggrieved groups and individuals: Can we see the list please? Who are the individuals? Are we going to abuse this and grant “amnesty” to all sorts because they are “aggrived”? Hey, Lucky Igbinedion is aggrieved too.

P.S: How many of them spoke up when that footballer was shot? Did they submit his name to the President? His blood cries out for justice.

Security surveillance and protection of oil and gas infrastructure: The security contracts were a travesty. Everyone knows that. This should have been the perfect opportunity to demand for community policing, and then having the community police to guard key economic infrastructure. But no, we want contract…

Economic development and empowerment: This one is as vague as they come. I’m slow this afternoon, can someone help me please?

Plight of internally displaced persons: Err???

Decrease in military presence in the Niger Delta: This one makes sense, but when you consider that the Nigerian military is active in the vast majority of our states, then you begin to wonder if it is not a nationwide problem, and it is. Sadly, we have bastardised our police to the extent that they are no longer capable of keeping law and order, and as the military becomes more and more involved in policing duties, they will go in the same direction. Here again, is where the call for community policing would have been relevant.

Resettlement plan for Bakassi communities: I can’t argue with this one, biko. It should be a state government affair in my opinion, but let us just open yet another federal government body for this since we love big government.

Let me resume work, I have a presentation to prepare.

---

Op–ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija