Congratulations, Otondos. You have finally come of age for that rite of passage every educated Nigerian adult must necessarily participate in, if not, no work. Rejoice.
Not too fast, there’s a lot you need to know. Best to start with the essentials you need for camp, and no, we are not talking about extra batteries for your phones because of the abundance of thieves, or going with your own white tees, because even though you’re a size 6, you’re as sure as the day going to be given size 14 digs, and your boots will need lots and lots of stockings and newspaper to fill out because them winches at the distribution lot have a rare case of sadism and will give you bigger boots even though they can clearly see you have Chinese feet and this, after they took time to obtain your measurements.
Forgive. That’s my story. It shall not be yours; amen.
Actually, it will, because NYSC camp is the definition of “as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen”
Beyond these challenges above, there are others you will encounter. Here’s Twitter with some insight and lessons.
- If you want that redeployment so bad, your creativity must be at its zenith.
https://twitter.com/mrkubby/status/800777954448052229
https://twitter.com/mrkubby/status/800778159243358208
2. How officials feel about your place of posting. They really don’t care that you’ve been away from Nigeria the last ten years.
NYSC: Deployment don full
NYSC to NYSC: Send the rest to Borno
NYSC: But Boko….
NYSC to NYSC: Seend themmm! pic.twitter.com/VEa0aTb7PE
— Juggernaut Maniac🐰 (@EldaRicardo) November 21, 2016
NYSC be like : We heard you love traveling so we posted you to Maiduguri. Safe Journey. pic.twitter.com/2LREyNXsxd
— Ibe 🎒 (@maziibe_) November 21, 2016
3. Don’t expect your students or pupils to understand English
Nysc year that I was preping my nursery 2 class for exams
I asked them animal sounds.
Me: A cat meows & a dog___?
Whole class: "gbo"
I died— Tee Baby 🎈 (@Tounsings) November 21, 2016
4. See ya life
https://twitter.com/jackdre02/status/800726067627589632
5. Things fall apart sometimes
When you see the guy who collected 50k to influence your NYSC posting to Abuja, but you got Taraba instead. 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/mkRN8wI1dv
— Afeez Adebayo (@za_icon) November 21, 2016
Welcome to this Nysc episode of the #TrailerJamShow 😭😭😭😭🚒🚒🚒🚚🚚🚚⚡️⚡️⚡️🔥🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/amRBKlxIP2
— All Around Nigeria 🌍🇳🇬 (@AllAroundNGR) November 21, 2016
6. Secret crushes who morph into stalkers
NYSC camp seems all sweet and all for a guy until a significantly older lady has a crush on you & there is nowhere to hide in the full camp!
— Chukwuedozie Nwa Charlie (@TheCharlesIsidi) November 21, 2016
7. When the chickens come home to roost
https://twitter.com/Hisroyaldopenez/status/800683492233183232
8. Better alawee. Some states pay corpers alawee too
GEJ increased everybody's wage. Civil servants, military, paramilitary, even NYSC. They all got a pay rise in 2011. pic.twitter.com/fvzvMCknEP
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) November 21, 2016
9. Your Khaki will not let you be great
Dem no tell us say NYSC Khaki dey shrink if you wash an. My man amend troza make e be fitted.
Wash am once, e turn Bum short— kelé Santana (@mhagayr) November 21, 2016
What people think they'll look like in NYSC uniform vs. what they actually look like: pic.twitter.com/hm5Exl1Vv1
— www.naijatunez.com (@NaijaTunez) November 21, 2016
Now you’re all caught up. Fall in.
