Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1 Buhari

Turns out our president has a new job description: Receiver-in-Chief, they say. How ’bout that?

President @MBuhari today received Senate President @bukolasaraki and Speaker, House of Representatives @YakubDogara in Abuja House, London pic.twitter.com/dwEfC6JFZO

— Presidency Nigeria (@NGRPresident) August 17, 2017

Nigerians are calling a spade by its given name

Buhari has become a photo president

— Amas (@GeorgeAmahe) August 17, 2017

All three of you should be ashamed. Nigeria is a sovereign nation, yet
#1, #3 and #4 citizens have to meet in London, UK. https://t.co/0LjsouZNPD

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) August 17, 2017

2. Phanie

The grapevine says Buhari has spent this much on treatment, so Phanie asks an important question:

They've spent $30m treating Buhari?

How much is new human being?

— Phanie (@PhanieRockz) August 17, 2017

Reactions:

This one is painful. https://t.co/KmEGypmJ7B

— Parosident Buhari (@TheMbuhari) August 17, 2017

When you use $30m to fix something Useless

— Wolverine ? (@hajeygunma) August 17, 2017

But seriously if you're to buy new organs and spare parts and assemble them. How much would a new human being cost?

— Sola Ayeni (@ayenisholah) August 17, 2017

Sahara reporters tweeted $30m has been spent on his treatment and you believe without asking questions ? wot do you guys use your brain for?

— Mr Olakunle (@kunzel05) August 17, 2017

It's not just for treatment, the pres. jet fees, estacode for staff, upkeep, medical home care costs, inflated prices, etc think deeper

— #LookingTooClosely.. (@Corazonnnnnnn) August 17, 2017

ain't costly, just a sperm cell

— Agbai Ciba (@shevciba7) August 17, 2017

Wawu.

3.@Karibiba

Charly Boy has called off the #ResumeorResign protest and Karibiba makes an observation.

4. Ben Bruce commiserates:

My most sincere condolences to the families of the victims of the suicide bombing in Konduga. May God grant you succor that man cannot give.

— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) August 17, 2017

5.@Elyas quips:

I failed GCSE's, re did it,years later I'm the admin manager of several whatsapp groups, back to back titles on FIFA 17 as Arsenal manager

— Elyas (@Elyas_FoodBae) August 17, 2017

6. Femi Coker

If an oil company guarantees you that a job of N1.2m per month is yours, if you would walk from Lagos to Ibadan.. what would you do?

— Femi Factor (@femifactor) August 17, 2017

"Oh walk walk walk walk, walking in the light, oh walk walk walk walk, walking in the light, walking in the light of God" ? https://t.co/TrXnp1CR9F

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) August 17, 2017

7. Malala is excited about her next chapter:

So excited to go to Oxford!! Well done to all A-level students – the hardest year. Best wishes for life ahead! pic.twitter.com/miIwK6fNSf

— Malala (@Malala) August 17, 2017

8. Thierry Henry

It’s the legend’s birthday today:

Legend#HappyBirthdayThierry pic.twitter.com/hezPelpQaE

— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) August 17, 2017

Happy 40th birthday to Thierry Henry, Arsenal's and the French national team's all-time top scorer.

What a legend. pic.twitter.com/PnxtBTPLtq

— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) August 17, 2017

It's @ThierryHenry's 40th birthday today – and here's a present for us all to enjoy ? pic.twitter.com/s75GRkzNm3

— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) August 17, 2017