Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

If you saw someone holding another guy in chokehold at Ajah underbridge this morning, that was me. He was trying to snatch my phone. That’s not who I really am – I have to leave Lagos.

— Ọkala Mmụọ (@ThatTemple) January 30, 2019

Let’s stop lying. Patriarchy exists independently of colonialism, of course there’s a kind of patriarchy that is funded by white supremacist imperialism, but patriarchy has been & existed here before the white man sailed the seas. Of course we’ve adopted their own kind, but still

— Ashawo Na Work (@OmogeDami) January 30, 2019

This new Twitter is making photos look like android photos. Ugh.

— beauty. spirit. light. (@EniolaHu) January 30, 2019

Buhari will not sleep this night after watching #AtikuInLagosAgain. Buhari is no match for Atiku, copy that! Atiku is a successful businessman and an experienced politician. Atiku will make a better president anytime, any day! #AtikuMeetsLagos

— May Ubeku (@Maybeks) January 30, 2019

OBJ advised Atiku Abubakar to be president of everybody immediately he is swearing-in as president of Nigeria.

“Don’t be president of Cabal, be a president of all.”#AtikuInLagosAgain

— Oke Umurhohwo (@Stalyf) January 30, 2019

OBJ has just been handed the mic. Scatter the table! ??? #AtikuInLagosAgain

— Ose El Sudenih (@Papadonkee) January 30, 2019

It is of concern that the majority of unemployed young and women. Those who don’t attend rallies will not understand. When I attend rallies I see thousands of young men & women who are unemployed. This is a time bomb.#AtikuInLagosAgain

— Igala_king (@I_Am_Ilemona) January 30, 2019

When you’re upset that your man has disrespected you by bringing another woman into your relationship, and you want to leave but you don’t leave because you don’t “want the other woman to win”, what exactly is it that you think she’s winning? Surely he cannot still be a prize?

— Ozzy Etomi (@ozzyetomi) January 30, 2019