Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Can you imagine a random Nigerian man you’ve never met before walking into your house party and telling you how happy he is to see you, a Nigerian woman, cooking because “women of nowadays do not have home training.”

What is the appropriate response?

— Max ‘Odogwu’ M. (@MakiSpoke) March 12, 2019

Can you cook? If you can’t , I blame your parents!

‘Ability to work under pressure’

This sentence has silently killed many and more are to go. It will never find its way to my resume.

— #Woman (@OniOluwafunmi) March 12, 2019

Amen, in Jesus name.

What if the reason I “won” my election is because I smell nice? ??

— Parosident Buhari (@TheMbuhari) March 12, 2019

Nah, you smell like cow dung.

You people are surprised some Nigerians find “You smell nice” sexual and rude.

Is it not this same Nigeria people find “Are you okay?” rude?

— IG: Omope Abdulazeez (@Iam_Abdolaxis) March 12, 2019

Tell them o.

This oloriburuku taiwo has locked her handle. What a skank. She used her bitchiness to open the floodgates of Twitter, she should at least be bitch enough to face it all. Fucking coward. Her firm should receive backlash for her disgusting unprofessional behaviour.

— Heisenberg (@Phumylo) March 12, 2019

Sir, you are mad and thank God you have someone to tell you.

If a lady tells me I smell nice after an interview in a suggestive tone I’ll tell her “thank you for the compliment. But such compliments can blow your chances in the future.”

If she is a good fit, I’ll still give her the job. And won’t bring it to Twitter.

— Dr. Dípò | The Career? (@OgbeniDipo) March 12, 2019

Every single day I engage with some Nigerian men on any sort of issue which requires even the tiniest bit of reasoning, I’m shocked anew how you guys managed to make it to adulthood. A cohort of clowns.

— The Law (@AdakuUfere) March 12, 2019

This tweet…my chest, I need CPR