June 24, 2016,

I had been chasing the date for the past four years. It was the day I would finally finish school. I’d have my own BSc and have all the tools needed to become my own person. I could now get a job and earn some money. I was finally through with school (if you’re thinking masters, stop being a buzzkill)

So, I graduated. Now I have to now take it to the point of prayer because NYSC is broke. The dollar is biting them hard and although they serve no legitimate national purpose, and you can’t get employed without it, we still run the scheme. That’s what we do in Nigeria, we run irrelevant things and bicker needlessly over the important.

NYSC (we don’t know for sure because some numbskull decided history was not important enough to be taught in schools) was set up to promote national unity after the civil war. Today, Nigeria still operates a federal character system because our unity is so fragile that if one ethnic group is perceived to dominate the rest bombs will go off.

Never mind that NYSC takes about 60%-80% of our annual budget on youth development. (Once again I don’t know for certain since a collection of elderly people called the government decided not all gist is for the young). It  is just  daft because NYSC doesn’t cover anything close to half of Nigeria’s youth on an annual basis.

But I digress.

The world economic forum says we have the worst primary education system in the world. We don’t even have half the quality of university education of Ghana. Yes, I said Ghana and it’s not okay. In case you have forgotten we sent Ghanaians packing and named cheap multipurpose bags after just for fun. Now we’re the ones going to school in Ghana. We should all be crying and eating shawarma and then next year we go and set new records for mass failure.

So, let’s talk solutions. I wondered if the Federal Ministry of Education has a plan to fix our educational system and I checked. To my surprise, the last time the Nigerian Federal Ministry of Education had any plan for our system was when Oby Ezekwesili was minister in 2006. That was 10 years ago in case you misplaced your calendar, and Obasanjo was still in power.

Should you go through that 2006 education road map, you would notice prior to 2006, there was no plan for the primary education sector. Not a single plan on paper or in someone’s imagination. As for the secondary and tertiary whatever plans that had been drafted prior to that time were still drafts. Nothing was being implemented, except the UBE.

To put things in perspective between 1960 and 2016, there has never been an even partially implemented long term plan for thel sector except for Obasanjo’s UBE scheme. What happened to Oby Ezekwesili’s plan you ask. Well it went with her when she left office because we hate continuity.

At this point I’d like to say that if you’ve been head of state, president or prime minister of Nigeria, whether you are dead or alive, kneel down, close your eyes and raise your hands.

This is so important because in a few decades we will be the 3^rd largest population in the world, which means we would have the 3^rd largest youth population and the 3^rd highest school age demographic. This in turn means we would need the 3^rd largest school system in the world.

Factor in today’s reality where we spend 60%-80% of our youth development budget on NYSC and absolutely 0% on our education. Just look at our schools do they look like they get money from government.

As it stands we already hold the Guinness book of records for the country with the highest number of out of school children with 10.5 million. Also, 40% of Nigerian children aged 6-11 do not attend any primary school. I know this because foreign stats exist.

Essentially, the only active plan we have for our entire education system is Obasanjo’s 2004 UBE. That plan was supposed to grant free education to primary and secondary school students. Problem is more than a decade later, It’s never been reviewed or improved. Instead, we’re content with using unqualified and untrained NYSC corpers to instruct the future of this country. This is the future 3^rd most populous country in the world.

By the time we hit a population overload, oil will be a lot less valuable than it is now. If you think oil isn’t even valuable now, just wait. When companies like Tesla start mass producing and Uber start using electric cars and everyone’s clean energy industries are up and running.

And this is the really fun part, in an even fewer number of decades, the bulk of Nigeria’s political class that has been leading since 1960, will all be gone. So, they would have ruined our country while we fought over them and gave them grandiose burials.

Sometimes, I want to rewire my vocal cords to my chest so I can literally shout with my chest that we are sinking into deep shit, and because it’s not yet near our noses doesn’t mean it’s not going to smell.