When we are upset, we tend to say things we don’t mean, things that could hurt other people’s feelings. But, no matter how upset you are, there are some boundaries you simply do not cross, unless, you become wrong regardless. Maria and Jackie B had a falling out today, and Maria’s case was already to hard enough to plead, but, she crossed a line which immediately made her case difficult to plead.
You could argue that she was right or she was wrong, even though it already felt like she was wrong, you could make an argument regardless. But when Maria said; “Swear on your child,” any case anyone would like to make for her being right went out the window.
The fight between Jackie B and Maria dates back to the night the Housemates had their fashion show. Jackie B made a comment about her outfit stating; Mother by day, freak at night” to which Maria added; “You mean whore?” Jackie B obviously did not appreciate Maria’s comment, and Maria apologized later.
Today, the issue came up again, and Maria was upset that Jackie B was still bringing it up. This is where things really became difficult to understand Maria. If you can call someone a whore, the surely, there should be no reason why you would be angry that said person is simply telling others what you said. You did say it, so it’s not like he/she is lying about you.
Maria’s whole thing was that she apologized and so the matter should be over, but what Maria failed to realize as she continued to get upset is that an apology does not necessarily culminate in forgiveness. Just cause you say you are sorry doesn’t mean you are sorry. And we saw this when she dismissively apologized to Boma after spilling food on him. Her first apology felt like she just said it so Boma would stop yelling at her, granted she did give a more honest apology later on.
And even if your sorry is honest, it doesn’t mean that you would be automatically forgiven. Some people when hurt need time to heal, before they can forgive you. And as most people have experienced, the best way to get someone to forgive you is to earn it.
If, ‘I am sorry’ was a quick fix to every harm people caused, then there would be an even more absurd amount of pain, humans cause each other, than there already is. There is some restrain within us because as adults we are well aware that our words or actions could cut too deep to heal. Maria should have understood this, and if she was truly sorry, should have been more keen on earning a forgiveness rather than demanding one.
If Jackie B felt like communicating was a good way to get over something, then it’s hard to say she is wrong, because in the process of talking about how hurt someone’s words made her, she told no lies. You could argue Maria was wrong, you can argue she was right, but it will be extremely difficult to make a case that she was right, especially after dragging someone’s child into it.
For Chinedu Okafor, its all about making an impact with words, creating a profound impression on the audience with the intended narrative.
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