This is literally everything you need to know about Diezani Alison-Madueke’s expensive “crimes”

Everywhere you turn, there’s she is, looking like she could not have managed a quarter o all the allegations heaped against her. You turn on your TV screen, your computer, influencers in social media have found a way to make a meme out of her situation.

The next thing you know, you’ll turn a page in your current read and find her there too – Former Nigerian Petroleum Minister, Diezani Alison Maduaeke and (her) loot – why not? Yesterday, a man who may have single handedly ruined his own business found a way to bring Diezani’s name into the matter, essentially blaming her or bringing his media business down.

Yet, you are just in your lane wondering how this has become such a big deal in a country where the sitting President possibly pays 1000 Pounds per day to park “his” jet in the United Kingdom. We get you but we also know that this means you don’t even know how bad things are. This woman has been accused of stealing enough money to “fund 6 world-class airports”. Only her.

Get this:

And because we cannot let you continue to live like this isn’t a big deal, we have prepared an “Understanding Diezani” Starterpack just or you.

Who is Diezani Alison-Madueke?

YNaija Editorial: The disturbing arrogance of Diezani Alison-Madueke

If you never met her, that’s how you should be introduced to her. We wrote that in 2012 and it still relevant today.

It started like an ordinary beef

Emir of Kano, Sanusi has some unanswered questions for Diezani, NNPC

Alison-Madueke speaks on the missing $20 billion

Emir of Kano to Diezani: “It’s nothing personal… it’s our nation’s money”

And then things escalated really quickly

Diezani rumored to be undergoing cancer treatment in London

Frail-looking Diezani says she never stole Nigeria’s money (See Photos)

Dele Momodu: My encounter with Diezani Alison-Madueke

Video clip of EFCC operatives outside Diezani’s home (WATCH)

And the wickedly hilarious memes roll out for Diezani’s arrest – Top 10

She did not help matters at all

Diezani literally ran like ‘Blessing Okagbare’ to board Buhari’s flight yesterday

How Diezani “smuggled” herself on the same flight with Buhari

And then there is Malabu which even the experts could not believe at first

‘Ex-minister Diezani Alison-Madueke fingered in Malabu oil deal’

INSIDERS: The Malabu figures are lies only to be taken seriously by illiterates

And when we, as a country could no longer carry her loot alone

Money laundering: Diezani to appear before UK court

Diezani Alison-Madueke granted bail in London

Is Diezani planning to flee UK to evade justice? (READ)

A family affair (literally and otherwise)

Diezani’s husband, who’s on ‘bail’, has another date with the EFCC

Jonathan’s ally, Jide Omokore may implicate Diezani upon return to EFCC

INTERLUDE

Where is Diezani Alison-Madueke?

And since you’re already here,

[The Presidential Blog] Alibaba may have just delivered the most politically hilarious “knock knock” ever

And now, welcome TO THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Diezani bribe: Abia INEC commissioner detained by EFCC

EFCC seeks permanent forfeiture of Diezani’s N9.08bn

EFCC seeks permanent forfeiture of Diezani’s N9.08bn

EFCC to prosecute INEC director for allegedly collecting N16m from Diezani

Our officials received N3bn bribe to influence 2015 elections – INEC

How DSS, army, others collected from Dieziani’s $115m bribe – EFCC

Diezani: EFCC begins process to repatriate $1.6bn

THIS.ONE.WAS.FIRE!

I am ready to drag you to prison with me | Alison-Madueke told Aluko, Omokore

How Aluko paid Diezani’s £537,000 rent, over $500,000 furniture – US prosecutors

‘EFCC discovers Diezani, Aluko Dubai mansions’

The Thread: “Dazzling Diezani” | How ex-Minister abandoned official assignment in Houston to buy furniture

‘Diezani: EFCC sends more proof to UK’

Court orders forfeiture of N7.6bn linked to Alison-Madueke

Ex-minister Diezani’s seized London properties (PHOTOS)

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