Opinion: Ese Walter affair – Confessions of a bitter woman

by Malcolm Ifi

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 Ese Walter’s allegation that he misled her is watery and not to be taken seriously because she misled herself. What any rational woman worth her salt would do after such advances have been made to her by a “man of God” would be to flee the man and his church.

The noise on Twitter over a supposed rape by the pastor of a popular church got me worried as is always the case when I hear stories of “men of God” who fell from grace and got caught. The few people I tried to interact with on the topic didn’t give me much so I decided to ask for the link itself which I got.

Knowing the way misinformation spreads on social media, I wasn’t surprised to find that what actually happened was much different. Anyway, that’s besides the point.

Whether the story is true or not is another matter, though it certainly has a familiar ring to it knowing the kind of country we live in. Ese Walter’s confession is a microcosm of what actually happens in many religious organizations. Things are that bad now.

However, the tone of her writing had not an iota of remorse but stinks of bitterness; the bitterness of a woman who feels used, not abused. There was something very carefree and vindictive about her confession that raises serious doubts as to the motive she declared. I saw a woman who’s heart was torn to shreds and so desperately wanted to get her pound of flesh back that she didn’t give a f__k about anything again – pardon my french.

Before I continue, I know someone is already saying, “Here’s a COZA voltron!”. Wrong! I’m not a member of COZA, neither am I defending Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo. Didn’t even know what the COZA acronym stood for till this evening. The name Fatoyinbo rang a bell but I knew nothing about him so I visited Google. I don’t even know what he looks like but I’ve heard of COZA because I was impressed by one of their worship centers I happened to pass by when I visited Abuja.

In fact, those who know me well know that I have never hidden my distaste for all these “funky” new generation churches that believe the Bible has become too old fashioned and needs to be modernized to suit the needs of the newer generation…

Back to my analysis of Ese Walter’s confession. I noticed in Ese, a similar trend of what I’ve always complained about in many Christian worshippers in Nigeria. How people transmute an unseen God into the form and image of the pastor has forever baffled me. A testament of what I call “god-objectification”. It is peculiar to Christians who learn to accept whatever their preacher preaches to be the gospel truth, even when the Holy Bible says otherwise.
If this confession was written by someone who had no knowledge of good or evil, a status I can only ascribe to a baby, I would have believed her motives to be noble. However, she stated she was already doing a Masters program in the UK when this supposed “abuse” began which would mean she is was way above 21 age wise. How someone in today’s world can claim not to know “her left from her right” at that age is mind-boggling to say the least!

A person her age ought to have known that having an affair with a MARRIED MAN is like sailing through uncharted waters; the possibility of a ship wreck is 99 out of 100. This is even more so when the man you are having an affair with is your spiritual counselor. You just can’t claim that you were “rolling under the sheets” consensually with a man and say you were afraid or even suggest that you may have been in a trance-like state while you both had sex DAILY for over a week. Its absurd! She wasn’t kidnapped or forced to visit or stay in his hotel room. If she really had a conscience attack, she would have fled after the first bout and never returned. This is where I break it to you all that read her confession that she ENJOYED every bit of the encounter.

Her story brings to mind a video that went viral on social media early this year, the “power-enter” video. If she’s as educated as she would have the world believe, then she couldn’t have fallen for his charms if she didn’t want to. Her confession tells me something, she’s a dumb bimbo. #MonicaLewinsky alert!

The aim of this rejoinder of sorts is not to attack her person of course. Its just to point out what a good story it is…too good to be taken in its entirety as the truth. One thing I know is that you can never decide until you’ve heard both sides. Unfortunately, the possibility of hearing Pastor Fatoyinbo’s side of the story appears to be slim. If he indeed had an affair with Ese Walters, the honourable thing to do would be to own up to his mistakes and probably bar himself from representing himself as a minister of God.

Ese Walter’s allegation that he misled her is watery and not to be taken seriously because she misled herself. What any rational woman worth her salt would do after such advances have been made to her by a “man of God” would be to flee the man and his church. She wasn’t rational which leads me to only one conclusion; she was in love with him.

That being said, it is instructive to mention an observation. I have noticed that is not uncommon to have male student pastors in University Campus Fellowships flocked by women of easy virtue who claim to be in need of one form of counseling or the other. These supposed counseling sessions usually end up in another dimension when the threshold of self-restraint and discipline breaks. This unfortunate occurrence now seems to have solidified itself as rumours of pastors having sexual trysts with their member are rife.

The world is filled with all sorts of charlatans in frocks and collars. Salvation is personal and even more so especially as the guide book to a true relationship with God, the Holy Bible is still very much accessible. The truth about God does not lie in the actions or doctrine of any pastor or religious institution. Its in the Bible for you to see. As long as you are mature enough to know the difference between good and evil, you WILL NOT give in to any ridiculous doctrine peddled by swindlers in cassocks or more recently, suits except you want to, or you are too weak to resist them.

If you worship in a church where a watered down version of the gospel is preached, jump ship immediately. After all, variety is one thing we do not lack when it comes to churches in Nigeria. Don’t blame your excesses or weaknesses on the pastor who “betrayed” you because God gave you a brain to think, so use it! On the last day, everybody go answer e papa name. Pastor will not shoulder the blame for your sins because like you, he will stand before God to be judged accordingly.

Do not be deceived. God is not mocked.

Oh, yeah “cheers to the freaking weekend”. I’ll drink to that!

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Read this article on Malcolm’s Blog

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Comments (14)

  1. Beautiful write up. I don’t attend COZA, lest anyone call me the spokesperson of Pastor Fatoyinbo. Bimbo is the best word to describe Ese Walter. She enjoyed every bit of the moment(if it ever happened) , so she should not come out and cry blue murder. That she was led astray is shallow and crap.

    The earlier we stop ‘idolizing’ men of God, the better for us.

  2. Nice write up,but dnt forget dat many pple dnt av d knowledge of d bible or d true gospel lyk u,many av. been carried away wt these new generartion pastors and churches where their pastor is d bible they read,ese is at fault,yes but so many are in a lot of bondage of doing what their pastor tels them to do,even when somethn sumtyms tell them its wrong,and mark u most of these pastors u c dnt just operate in d physical realm its either they are for God or for satan,but all d same am happy for her to av confessed her sins,and out of d bondage,pls dnt castigate her,let’s just keep praying for as much are in such bondage d gud Lord deliver them,and as many especially youth who luk for funky churches,be careful and conscious of d wiles of d devil,not all dat glitter is gold,let’s go to church for d word and not to showcase what our wardrobe is lyk,many churches today are dignified clubs,cult etc hiding behind d covering of religion,u hardly find youth in churches dat av d sound doctrine or old churches lyk cac,apostolic faith,gospel faith deeperlife. Etc am not a member of any of these churches so am not trying to advocate for these churches,may God help us so we dnt fall into d hands of false prophets and devil incarnates who call themselves pastor,then I will advise ese to go for serious deliverance cos my spirit just tells me what she had wit dat pastor its beyond d ordinary,ese be careful,and more prayerful

  3. Malcom or whatever you call ur serlf,she nevr said she was misled,are you the pastor or he paid u to write yours cus I don’t geyt what your point is;whether she was misled or in love isn’t the point,the point is the pastor is just another piece of trash that calls himself a man og God and should nt be preaching….ese walters has said the story,bliv it or leave it,don’t kill your self and start talking trash

    1. *raped*

  4. I agree with your write up 100% !, especially where she mentioned that the abuse (sexscapade) lasted for a whole week. I don’t blame her for exposing it though, just want to tell people to take responsibility for their actions. I observe that some females on this thread are being unnecessarily emotional about your write up but, it is the sincere truth. The pastor took advantage of a loose woman (sorry, but it is what it is). This should teach all the girls out there a lesson. The pastor is not God! He’s got blood flowing through his veins. He took his chance and got what he wanted. She could have resisted him but didn’t, and continued to visit him for a week! there seems to be more of bitterness in her story than genuineness!. its truly the confession of a bitter woman!

  5. First of all i’ll like to remind us that this is just ONE SIDE of the story and MAY be false. Infact with the way she wrote it as you rightly said is obvious that it isn’t entirely true. She called her old church BORING and has now left COZA, I tell you that girl isn’t born again. I’m not beeing biased here but we’ve heard fake stories like this before from women who want cheap publicity anyway, its too early to judge. Let’s wait till we are sure.

    1. Ya it is only one side of the story. However, why has COZA so far remain silent about an allegation this serious. It shows all is not well somewhere, somehow. She didn’t say she was a born again. She is just like any youth making decision (switching church) based on peer pressure. Like you rightly said, let’s keep our fingers crossed and wait. COZA can’t be silent forever. May God have mercy on us all.

  6. I agree with your analysis.
    reading her story and going through her entire blog, I was impressed only by an intelligent woman who had been scorned in love and who is seeking desperately for some sort of closure.
    her narrative, I find very believable…her stated motives and intentions for letting the cat out not quite so.

  7. Malcom. I wonder if u took out time to read the story properly! Dear Ese never claimed or supposed (as you put it) rape. She never claimed she was forced.
    When you say allegations, I shake my head. She is not accusing anyone. And has only found the boldness to speak up and say things as they happened.
    What I pray for you is that God should grant you 1. Open eyes 2. Empathy 3. Wisdom 4. Understanding.
    And help you apply all these before you write carelessly about people that have experienced real pain!

  8. Blah blah blah. Another piece of rubbish written on YNaija. First she never said she was raped or that the Pastor misled her. She fully took responsibility for her actions and further stated some of the steps she took to help herself find peace for the mistake she made. I won’t judge anyone, if she is saying the truth, then I think the Pastor should come public or step down. And she also should contact the Pastor’s wife to apologise for her actions. I salute her for her courage to step forward to speak.
    That I think should be the fair thing to do, not this rubbish you put together here.

  9. You are definitely not in support of Ese but u are in support of the pastor. Your position is strongly biased! The pastor is a MAN of GOD…not just an ordinary man…he is supposed to lead his flock to the right path and live an exemplary life! He has been indulging in this act with different church members not only Ese and he goes to church to preach against these sins!!! Who does he think he is mocking..OUR GOD??? He must be a joker cos God has used Ese to expose his lying ass! How DARE HIM! I guess you pple should sit down, ask God to open your heart to the truth before u express your opinion. The way the corrupt police pple r being uncovered will be the way the corrupt pastors will be uncovered. Our God is not asleep and he will fight our battles for us!

  10. Thank you so much Malcolm,this is exactly my on stand on this matter,God bless u.

  11. Well said Malcom, I completely agree with your unbiased position and pray that God will have mercy.

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