Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Simi

So, Simi reacted rather angrily to the Dorcas vs Taxify driver story:

But, she got an online “beating” she might not have experienced before and then she came back to apologise:

I’m sorry. I mean well, but I said it wrong in the heat of my emotions. ? I’m gonna go out and drink something.

— Simi (@SympLySimi) January 26, 2018

Not poison. ??‍

— Simi (@SympLySimi) January 26, 2018

2. Liam Canning

Alexis Sánchez's movement is sublime. Floats inside instinctively and provides an option through the middle. Manchester United's forward line is going to be very fun to watch.

— Liam Canning (@LiamPaulCanning) January 27, 2018

Yes. It would really be fun.

3. Favour Onyeoziri

Just heard that the Taxify Driver has demanded for a massive public apology and payment of N5 million damages from DSF. What do you think, good or bad move? pic.twitter.com/Kvpa89gLGh

— FAVOUR ONYEOZIRI (GCFR) (@Rouvafe) January 27, 2018

Its brewing… you know.

4. Adekunle Gold

There’s no reasoning with many people here (not like it’s new knowlegde). No use trying.

— KING AG #ABOUT30 (@adekunleGOLD) January 27, 2018

No use trying to explain?

5. Omojuwa

Hello Temitope. I can confirm, having sought clarification from Taxify on the matter, that he was SUSPENDED by Taxify pending the conclusion of investigations and not sacked. Plus, technically speaking, he cannot be sacked by Taxify. https://t.co/vZjG0rgqqt

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) January 27, 2018

In reply to:

https://twitter.com/tosteInc/status/957164968754995201

I will keep you updated, dear twitter FAM when the paper works are done on Monday and all parties involved have been notified..

Better tell taxify and dorcas to go get a lawyer from Jupiter cos this case is as big as Jupiter itself.

Rubbish

— Temitope Eyan Stevo (@tosteInc) January 27, 2018

Twitter do your thing.

5 Senior advocates and 3 lawyers have picked up interest in this case.
All we need now is Henry's (taxify driver who drove Dorcas) contact or address.

Please RT

— Temitope Eyan Stevo (@tosteInc) January 27, 2018

UPDATE: Dear Nigeria twitter, I just got off the phone with Mr Henry. He was humble & sobbing like a child. May we not encounter a destiny spoiler like Dorcas. ??

I pity the man who will marry that one.
Video explanation of Henry's side of the story coming soon!! anticipate

— Temitope Eyan Stevo (@tosteInc) January 27, 2018

if you think you can drag me because i chose to support what is right and uphold the legal system. I will come for you heavily and humble you just the way twitter humbled Simi and Adekunle Gold over this same matter.

Wear your home training Helmet before you @ me

— Temitope Eyan Stevo (@tosteInc) January 27, 2018

6. Urban Culture

Don't let Dorcas vs Taxify issue distract us from the real problem. Two Fulani Herdsmen were killed in Plateau state, is this some kind of scores?!

Nigeria will be great again ? pic.twitter.com/2kiqke6ShX

— Oba Of Nigeria (@UrbanCulture06) January 27, 2018

We cannot continue like this. This is total disregard for human lives. As long as we condemn killings by ‘suspected herdsmen’, let us also condemn reprisal attacks. NO!

Orientation… Orientation…