#YNaija2017Review: Abuja Twitter gets down and dirty; #5KBae wipes the floor with Pablo Ayodeji | See the top 10 Twitter fights of 2017

We really should have tagged this Top 10 Social Media fights because although Twitter gave us epic, historic throwdowns, Instagram, Snapchat and other social media platforms also gave us memorable ones and in some cases, the fights crossed over from Instagram to Twitter.

It has to be said that these fights made Twitter lit, after all, not everytime tweeting politics and grammar, sometimes just iyalaya everybody. So come along with us as we recount the top 10 fights of 2017.

Sahara Reporters vs The Nation

This duo opened the year fighting over who had more chops, credibility-wise. All we can say is nobody won.

Hushpuppi vs Davido

In Nigeria ehn, the prevailing adage is “if you no get money, hide your face“. Small Doctor sang it, yes, we know, but shaming poor people aside, he spoke the truth. The average Nigerian cannot wait to make truckloads of money because over here, he who get money wields enormous power- political, economic and otherwise. Just ask Dangote.

That preface was necessary to explain this thing that Hushpuppi did (otherwise, it boggles the mind). He went to Quilox, bought drinks costing more than 10M and proceeded to drag Davido for still sucking on his daddy’s teats. People of God, that’s all it took for a Snapchat money tussle to ensue. Davido posted receipts of his December transactions totalling 130M then both guys started giveaways on social media. It was lit! Until a mutual friend settled the beef. You could have heard Twitter beneficiaries cry.

Hushpuppi vs Phyno & Ice Prince

We’re taking for granted the fact that you know by now that Hushpuppi is cray. Disagree? Read exhibit 1 above again.

Now that we are agreed the dude is err… different, his second attention-seeking gimmick did not take us by surprise anymore. Without any provocation whatsoever, Hushpuppi tackled Phyno and Ice Prince. They fought back. In the end, the “Gucci puppet” was the lone casualty after Twitter had him for breakfast. We haven’t heard his voice since.

5KBae vs Pablo Ayodeji

We woke up on a Thursday morning in March to Pablo Ayodeji’s unfortunate rants, calling out a girl who’d refused to make the leap to girlfriend just because he’d taken her out on a date. One date. During which he spent 3,800 pere for movie tickets and two hot dogs.

Classy as the Queen of England, the young lady, Ore, clapped back with a 5,000 refund and a savage comment-  “keep the change, bruh”. Boy, was the internet in love. She was the mouthpiece of the feminist movement. Netizens kept #5kBae on Twitter’s top trends list days after, causing banks and organizations to court her favour. Sadly, this worked as a double-edged sword: Pablo Ayodeji achieved unnecessary notoriety and never changed his ways. Three weeks after, Adeniji Olaoluwa Ayodeji threatened to murder someone, and on Christmas day, cemented his status as a scam artist. ListNG tried to figure out what could be wrong with young Pablo, but couldn’t arrive at any conclusion.

Wizkid vs Tekno

This year, Wizkid did a damn good job of serving subs like chocolate. Davido and Tekno were regular subjects of his savage games. And Twitter Nigeria lost their marbles over each one. It’s expected when all three have die-hard fans; with each sub, Wizkid declared war and curiously, he won each time.

Perhaps we won’t be seeing this side of Wizkid in 2018, now he and Davido are best of friends.

Kayode Ogundamisi vs Elnathan John

Oooooh, this one we got great mileage out of ’cause we just love when adults with wit and sarcasm throw barbs (Don’t be mistaken, please, we are speaking of Elnathan John). Anyway, they got into this major tangle over “journalism ethics”.

[Did you miss the great fight]: “The Thread: Elnathan John and Kayode Ogundamisi draw swords- and blood- over Journalism ethics”

Elnathan basically told Sahara Reporters off for posting a video of Boko Haram without proper editing and Kayode Ogundamisi went to answer the summons. Elnathan John did not hold back his punches and we learnt new words like “agbero journalism” “unintelligent posturing” and we’re sure Ogundamisi learnt one or two things about critical thinking.

Demola Olarewaju and Peregrino Brimah

Usually even-tempered even on volatile Political Twitter streets, Demola Olarewaju unleashed his wrath on Peregrino Brimah over the latter’s political hypocrisy; slamming him with names like “intellectual fraud”, “e-idiot” etc. The spat ended pretty quickly, though. Soon after Mr Brimah announced his intention to run for President in 2019. Not sure how that’s coming along.

Olivia vs Irose

As we began to countdown to the end of the year, Abuja Twitter showed us the stuff they are made of.  You think Lagos Twitter can fight? Think again. This dragging, which began around 9 pm on a pretty quiet Tuesday night, was one of such epic proportions, saw us still working close to midnight, uploading hundreds of screenshots full of Ajegunle-type tea.

The Thread: “Your father raped your nanny” “You seductress from hell” | Irose & Olivia fight dirty on Abuja Twitter

With gist such as “your father raped your nanny; “you were sleeping with the father of the brother of your child”; you slept with Danel Wilson and “you went to the ends of the earth to look for Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo’s (COZA) number”, this fight is one for the books.

The Thread: “Did you not go to the ends of the earth to look for Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo’s phone number?” | Olivia serves high tea [Pt II]

We can’t spill everything, you’d have to read it to take it all in.

It had a disappointing ending, sha.

Saraki vs Sahara Reporters

Sahara Reporter really got into it with politicians this year. Saraki and Dino Melaye felt the brunt of their actions.

To which Saraki replied

After which Sahara Reporters retorted

Then Saraki slammed the online news medium with a 4billion naira suit, which the court duly awarded.

The end.

Lauretta and Fani Kayode

We would be remiss if we neglect to mention the part Buhari’s media aide, Lauretta Onochie, played this year in finessing our eye rolling and hissing skills. That’s ’cause throughout the year, she was just an incredible dumbass- with all due respect, of course. The one time we came close to siding with her was when FFK took on Yemi Osinbajo. At the time, Osinbajo’s white kaftan had just been delivered by the angels and we weren’t going to allow FFK tarnish the heavenly garment. So it was okay for Lauretta to take FFK out.

Trump vs Kathy Griffin; American football players;  Sen. Bob Corker, J.K Rowling (In other words, Trump vs The Whole Wide World)

President of the United States of America, Donald J. Trump, was the biggest bully on Twitter in 2017. He manhandled everybody who dared cross his path and cried “witchhunt” when the backlash became too much to handle. When Kathy Griffin cut off Donald Trump’s head for comedic effect, Trump sicced the Secret Service on her and gave her a dose of the Trump medicine.

Did we mention she lost her job as well?

When Senator Bob Corker, a fellow Republican told Trump that he had turned the White House into “a reality show” and “setting the U.S. ‘on the path to World War III'”, Trump eviscerated him in a Twitter storm.

To be sure, they were mostly lies Trump told, but he had to have the last word- on Twitter, at least.

Trump also attacked black footballers who opted to kneel for the national anthem- a spillover effect, we think, of being rejected by Stephen Curry. Black Twitter went wild.

J.K Rowling never stood for his nonsense, though. As quickly as Trump dished it, J.K clapped back fast. Her tweets still make us salute R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published.

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail