Tag Archives: relationship

black-sex

Guys, here’s a perfectly valid reason to have over 20 female sex partners (READ)

by Isi Esene

Latest studies have shown that there may actually be an upside side to men having sexual partners numbering over twenty.

Men have famously been known to keep a tab on their ‘body count’ to boost their ever-drooping ego but they may need to do it more now – for health reasons as researchers from the University of Montreal and Institut Armand-Frappier say men who have had sex with more than 20 women have a 28 per cent lower chance of being diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Are you counting yet?

“It is possible that having many female sexual partners results in a higher frequency of ejaculations, whose protective effect against prostate cancer has been previously observed in cohort studies,” said study leader Marie-Elise Parent of the University of Montreal.

According to one theory, ejaculating often is thought to lower the number of carcinogens in semen.

Men who had more than 20 partners were also 19 per cent less likely to get a more aggressive type of prostate cancer, Parent and her colleagues found out after doing a study of 3,208 men.

The researchers, however, warned that having more than 20 male partners doubles one’s prostate cancer risk, as does never having sex.

Time up guys, can we now have your results please?

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@Chrisbamidele: 10 habits of a healthy relationship (Y! Superblogger)

by Chris Bamidele

Most of us must have seeing some young/old people in a happy relationship and we just wonder why some are so ‘lucky’ in their relationship and we/others are not. We can see that there is something about the way they interact that makes it obvious they have a unique and genuine connection, and sometimes we just wonder if there is something they know that we or others don’t. Then at some point we might just conclude that they are just destined to be together, and the chemistry between them is stronger because they are soul-mates and they are compatible in everything by default. But it turns out that would be a wrong conclusion, people in great relationships don’t just connect by default or because they are destined to. They live by a few basic rules and they make these rules top priorities in their day-to-day lives together. People in a happy relationship don’t just set their lives on cruise control expecting things to be great all of the time; they make little bits of effort daily. And overtime, these efforts will accumulate and make a big difference.

Sometimes relationship is like that bank account you intend to grow for a future purpose; the one you will make conscious and constant effort to deposit money in it daily, weekly or monthly. Same way you should make an effort every day to deposit at least one act of thoughtfulness into your relationship’s bank account. Your goal, however, should not be to make a huge withdrawal at the end of the week/year. Your only goal should be to keep giving the things your relationship wants, to make them habits, to make them permanent, so that your relationship will stay happy.

So, let us look at these 10 habits of a happy relationship and see if your relationship has them; if not, strive to personalize the habits in your own relationship and in no time, you will create a strong, happy and nurturing relationship that is going somewhere good.

  • SETTLE DISPUTES PEACEFULLY

I have to make this the first one, because naturally disputes, mostly are responsible for the failure of most relationships. Disputes will always come especially at the early stages, and if anyone ever told you to break up once there is any slight dispute, the person is either your enemy or he/she wants your partner; either way, such person is wrong. Sometimes, most young people have a smooth relationship and they are tempted to ask themselves where this person had been all their life. But, before they know it, they have a big fight, their first fight, and then they gradually go separate ways or they stop believing in each other and in their love; and then the love dies a natural death. But there is a way to deal with disputes especially when you are over the ‘first’ one, which in my experience is always ‘huge’. In a happy relationship, you will surely feel anger when there is dispute, but then you have to avoid saying or yelling words you can’t take back, even if one partner says some hurtful words, the other one should NOT look for more hurtful things to say. Instead have a planned agreement that you each will back away whenever there is dispute and talk about things later when the situation is calmer.

  • SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER

Making time for each other is not negotiable in a happy relationship. With our busy schedules we often forget to relax and enjoy the company of our partner. Ignoring your partner because you are busy often hurts more than angry words. So if you can, carve out special time for just the two of you once a week, except you are living in different cities or country for the time being. But even at that, you can stay on touch regularly with the help of technology. And anytime you are in the same location, maximize the time and don’t allow any other thing to be more important than your relationship.

  • APPRECIATE AND HELP EACH OTHER GROW

Learn to appreciation your partner openly and honestly. This leads to a productive, fulfilling and peaceful union. Cheer for their victories. Celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage their goals and ambitions. And if they are not doing enough in their field, challenge them to be the best they can be.

  • INTEGRITY IS IMPORTANT

You must be able to trust each other and know you are not being used or taken advantage of.  If you constantly suspect your partner is using you to achieve some personal goals, then there won’t be inner peace and security in that relationship. And trust me it will be far from being a happy one. Remember that lies fester, but the truth heals. So, live daily with fairness, integrity and reliability with one another.

  • BE LOYAL AND DEVOTED

True love is not about being inseparable or being in the same location at all times. True love means two people can be true to each other even when they are not in the same location. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.

  • LEND SUPPORT DURING THE GOOD TIMES AND BAD (ESPECIALLY BAD TIMES)

If you are only available when it is convenient, then you might want to take another look at your relationship. If you are in a loving relationship, you need to be there through the good, bad, happy, and sad times too. You need to trust that you can count on each other when things are not at the very best.

  • KNOW EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFERENT

Looking at that random couple whose relationship seems perfect and start comparing it with your own will only leave your relationship miserable. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, and love habits. Just focus on you two, and make your relationship the best it can be!

  • TALK AND LISTEN

Your partner is not supposed to be a mind reader; he/she might not be able to figure out how you are feeling all the time. So, be specific and clear while communicating with your partner on what you want and make an effort to make your partner open up about what they want as well. The trick is, talk and listen.

  • TURN NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES

Problems in a relationship can be broken down into bits and pieces. And if you’re both honest with each other and within yourselves, you can logically look at the negatives and turn them into positives, as long as you both want the relationship. Work together as a team to tackle each negative one by one, and you are on your way to having a happy relationship.

  • REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Forget what you see in the movies or on television, a happy relationship isn’t anything like that. No relationship is full of non-stop romance, regular great sex, candlelight dinners and whirlwind trips to exotic locations. Real relationship takes effort, time and commitment. A happy relationship doesn’t just happen because two people love each very much, it happens because not only do two people love each other very much, they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time and energy into the partnership thereby building a happy relationship – day after day.

So, is your relationship having few or all of these habits? Well you can even do more and continue to stay happy. But if your relationship does not have any of the habits listed above, you might want to take another look at it, and work on it because we all deserve to be happy in our relationships. Stay Safe.

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Chris Bamidele is an accomplished writer and blogger. He blogs from http://chrisbamidele.wordpress.com

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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@ChrisBamidele: Cheating- Things they don’t say (Y! Superblogger)

by Chris Bamidele

I know I promised myself not to write about relationship or anything remotely connected to it. But I guess relationship talks are not something you can just wish away; the talk will somehow crop up, either on social media or with our buddies. So when I woke up today and got on Walter’s blog to read a couple of stuff, and I stumbled on a particular post (the writer called it admonition) I had an opinion – again. and since I wouldn’t want to leave an epistle as a comment on someone else’s blog, I had to do a post. The title of the post I read on Walter’s blog is “THE THINGS THEY SAY…ABOUT CHRISTIANS AND SEX” and it was written from a woman’s angle, so I believe the writer is a woman, but I cannot tell if she is married or not. I will quote some of her points, I will paraphrase some, and then I will give my opinion.

She started by talking about how a character in a ‘Christian’ Nollywood movie she watched, advised another character (her friend) to cover herself with the blood of Jesus anytime she has to have sex with her unrepentantly promiscuous husband as a “preventive” measure against STIs and highly possible HIV. Then she wrote that she sampled the opinion with other women and a good number of them agreed with the advice and according to her, thank God her jaws were fixed; if not, her mouth would have been lying on the ground probably from the attendant shock.

Now here is her advice verbatim, “Dear sister of mine, I don’t give two rats left ears what your Pastor said about “owing” your husband sex. You don’t! Marriage is a contract and one of its terms is fidelity between a husband and a wife. If your man is making a habit of housing his koboko in different containers, protect yourself with condoms or stop sleeping with him. I said, I don’t care a twit what your so-called Christian brothers and sisters mean by saying you cannot stop sleeping with him unless by agreement. Did he agree with you before breaking those vows of fidelity?”

“When you catch and die of HIV, they won’t be there to raise your children as you would have. The highest eulogy you’ll get is “Eh yaaah! Poor woman…so young…”

That pastor will stand at your tomb and intone, “God giveth and God taketh…” Which God?

God giveth commonsense – USE IT!

Condoms are not of the devil – BUY THEM!

You can survive without sex – STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM”

Now, it seems our dear counselor gave 4 perfect “tips to deal” to a married woman whose husband is an “unrepentant” cheater.

(1) If you have any common sense; stop sleeping with him.

(2) If your common sense is having some ‘guilty conscience'; pity him and sleep with him but you must buy a condom.

(3) I don’t care how you would do it, and it doesn’t matter how, just make him use the condom whether he likes it or not.

(4) If 2 and 3 do not work for him, revert to 1.

And then all your marriage problems are gone – solved. Peace will suddenly return, and you will suddenly have a good home and a model marriage. How easy?

I agree completely when the writer said “marriage is a contract, and one of its terms is fidelity between husband and wife” but truth is fidelity as conjugal faithfulness cannot stand on its own. I am not trying to make any excuse for a cheater, and I believe the reason behind the cheating is not as important as cheating itself; because for me, when you cheat on your married partner, there is no reason enough to justify the action. But life is always about causes and effects. If you always treat the effect without identifying the cause and try to correct it, you might find yourself in an unending circle, a maze, a labyrinth that will leave you perpetually bewildered.

I don’t claim to be an expert on marriage or any issue, and truth is nobody is. We only have a perspective or a few, from our experiences and other people’s experiences. And since no two relationships or marriages are exactly alike, your knowledge would be stunted if your own relationship or marriage is the only experience you draw out from.

Truth is most marriages fail before the couples tie the knot – better believe it. You will be surprised if people could tell you the truth as to why they are getting married to their partners, but nobody will. We all pretend to be fine, since he is a brother in the church, he has a good job and drive a nice car, and she is a sister in the choir with the angelic voice and the body of a goddess; everything should be fine, but you see, everything is not fine. Most churches these days only teach abstinence, and being born again (The Nigerian way) once a brother passes the abstinence test, and he is ‘born again'; he is good enough to be your husband. And once a sister does not wear those skimpy clothes and she prays in tongues, she is the will of the Lord for any church brother. But for people outside the church, it’s a bit different. As a guy, you need to have swag, 6 packs, you have to be tall and handsome, you know kind of Idris Elba look-alike, then you need to have a very nice ride with a nice job and a cozy apartment, you also need to be a horse in bed, and make your woman cum regularly, then you are a husband material. And as a lady, you need to be a ‘lady’ (I don’t know what it means) have a good job, slim, fair in complexion or have Lupita’s skin, graceful steps all the way, know your way around the kitchen and then in bed. Hmmm, I think people outside the “church” are more creative, don’t you think?

So, my first question is: is the man you are taking as your ‘faithful’ husband, faithful to you in your relationship? Oh! He was cheating on his girlfriend with you, then he upgraded you to the status of the main chic and you think you have won the battle? My dear, you won the war, the battle continues.

Marriage is a contract, a very big one, and it lasts for a lifetime (supposedly) so what are we doing wrong? Let’s see some terms of the contracts as contained in a traditional marriage vow which we read in part in our marriage ceremonies. “I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live”

So, my first question is: is the man you are taking as your ‘faithful’ husband, faithful to you in your relationship? Oh! He was cheating on his girlfriend with you, then he upgraded you to the status of the main chic and you think you have won the battle? My dear, you won the war, the battle continues. Don’t get me wrong, people change, they meet someone and their life takes a different turn. But you know he cheats, and he would not stop, he would not change, and you expect the ring or the ceremony on that Saturday to change him. You are asking for too much my sister. A chronic cheat in a relationship will become an unrepentant cheat in a marriage.

Another question is: are you faithful yourself in sickness and in health? Do you love him in bad times and good times or just in good times alone? When he was having some challenges at work or that time he was out of job, did you not ask him to forget about sex and think of how to be “a man” again? When he had this lovely business idea, and was considering resigning from his paid job and launch out, did you support him or did you shoot him down and make him feel little and foolish? Now some woman out there supports his goals, listens to him talk, shares his burden, encourages him, and now you put all the blame on him when he sleeps with that woman? Remember the law of causes and effects. This is not Dettol advert.

Another question: do you honour and respect your husband? Now, Naija feminist will pick up arms against me and ask if the man should not respect and honour his wife as well. But you see, women and even feminists respect their Pastors more than their husbands, and will do anything the Pastor asks them to do, meanwhile he doesn’t give a damn about what they think. I always say to married women that if they could show their husbands, 50% of respect, honour and patience they have for their pastors, marriages in this part of the world will have fewer problems to sort out. But the husband is their equal, and the Pastor is far above. You relate with him like he is your houseboy and someone else relates with him like he is a king, what do you expect? I tweeted about a couple I listened to few days back. The wife insisted that sex is not food, so the man must be contented with having sex once or twice in a month because she doesn’t like sex. So, I asked, Do you think they play Ludo in marriage? they screw in marriage and pretty well too. Lol

Am I giving reasons for men to cheat? No, I would never do that. But when something that was almost perfect gets broken, you try and fix it, and not throw it away. When you stop sleeping with your husband (who was never a cheat before you married him but he is now suddenly cheating) just because you CAN survive without sex and he CANNOT, you are adding to the problem, not fixing it. If you knowingly married a chronic cheat all because he is handsome and rich and you are hoping you being a good wife to him, or him wearing that wedding band would change him, I am happy to announce to you that your struggle aiin’t over yet, keep at it. But if your husband who has been faithful since you were dating suddenly starts cheating in marriage, and you have proof of it; have a talk with him, if he confesses and possibly promises to change his ways, you can both decide that he must go for STDs check before you can start sleeping together again. If he refuses to change, you can decide to move into the guest room or let him know you won’t be having sex with him till the issues are sorted, or speak to a counselor that would tell you what to do next. But if you just ‘lock up’ and decide within yourself not to give him sex anymore till he probably begs for it, what you are saying is that your own 30-something year old Veejay is covered in honey and spice while the 23 year old veejay he is shagging outside is not. And someday, he would miss your honey and spicy veejay and come back begging for it, and become a changed man once he realizes what he is missing. it doesn’t happen that way. So communicate, fix things, find solution, and don’t just lock up and hope everything will go away.

Space will not permit me to write more on this subject, but you can raise or ask anything in the comment section and I will surely answer. Don’t get me wrong, a cheat is a cheat no matter what you do or fail to do. But don’t encourage your otherwise faithful husband to cheat. By the way, wives cheat too, and some husbands contribute to why they cheat, I wrote about it sometimes ago, Read it HERE. Stay Safe.

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Chris Bamidele blogs at ChrisBamidele.wordpress.com and tweets @degreatest2

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

The-Law-court

I have extramarital affairs to make myself happy – Wife confesses to court

by Damilola Jagun

Temitope Adisa, a housewife living in Oyo State has told an Iseyin Customary Court that she engages in extramarital affairs to make herself happy.

She told the court that her husband, Muraina Adisa has also been unfaithful to her.

Muraina, 48, had dragged Temitope to court pleading that their 15 year old marriage should be dissolved. He said his wife has been sleeping around with different men and he can no longer condone her.

He said her activities has made him a laughing stock in the community.

Adisa also claimed he is not the father of three of their four children. According to him, three of the children have striking resemblance to her wife’s lovers.

Temitope admitted having extramarital affairs but maintained that the children are her husband’s.

She said, “I know and I can swear with anything available that all the four children are for Muraina.

“I started having lovers of recent because he also began to sleep around the neighborhood and would be away for about five days.  I have to make myself happy,“ she said.

In his ruling, president of the court, Raimi Oyegbenle, ordered the estranged couple to be present in court with their parents and family members at the next adjourned date.

He expressed optimism that the crisis would be resolved amicably with the help of family members.

Oyegbenle adjourned further hearing on the matter till Monday.

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Age is just a number: 57-year-old Hollywood actor dating 18-year-old girl

by Damilola Jagun

You’ll be forgiven for thinking they are father and daughter, but really, they are just a regular boyfriend and girlfriend out and about, on Wednesday, 10 September, in California, US.

57-year-old Hollywood actor Steven Bauer and his 18-year-old girlfriend, Lyda Loudon, met in July at the ‘Magic In The Moonlight’ première, and they have been an item ever since.

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Bauer was previously married to actress, Melanie Griffith, but divorced in 1987 after five years of marriage, and they have a son together, Alexander, who’s 10 years older than his father’s girlfriend.

The ‘Scarface’ actor is almost 40 years older than his teenage love, but they don’t seem bothered about that, and they seem happy (well, he does).

Heartbreak

Heartbreak (Poetry) – on #WeekendGroove with Damilola Jagun

“Poetry is the language of the soul and the vocal expression of the inner spirit”

 

I carry a burden
I bear a pain
My chest heaves out and in.
I search for slumber, but sorrow seeps in.

My pupils remain dry like the Sahara,
When a tear or two would bring release.

My thoughts assume aimless tirade,
Staring at the dark ceiling
Listening to love-talk on the FM.
Still, you dominate the occupation of my musings.

I’ve lost desire to partake in the nightly norm.
I’ve been gifted with hurt, and I loathe her guts.

I toy back and forth with the details of my affliction,
I swing the blames between our names.
I’m too manly to bear this feminine state.
I tell myself, but I fear it’s late.

I yearn for closure, or a bit of escape.
Yet, even that, the elements starve me.

Is this my portion of the whore named ‘heartbreak?
Was I in love and didn’t recognize her?
Now, I’m antsy, I sit up.
I scramble to my feet, and pace the passage.

The snores of the household bring forth reality.
I’m frozen to a spot as it dawns on me.

The impossible has seen light.
The Jews have been bested in battle.
I’ve been in love, and now she’s gone
I’m left with heartbreak;

The bride of a love gone sour.

rbk-is-technology-killing-relationship-blogging-de

Chris Bamidele: 20 technology Dos and Dont’s in a relationship

by Chris Bamidele

Do you find yourself constantly checking your Blackberry—even when you’re on a date? Is your blackberry, iPad, tablet, iPhone etc. closer to you than your partner? Have you ever tried to send a raunchy text to your partner and somehow you realize that you mistakenly sent it to a random friend, your boss or worse your pastor? Have you tried to guess your partner’s password as to have access to their e-mail or twitter DM without their knowledge?

Well, maybe you haven’t experienced any of the issues above; it’s likely that you’ve encountered the intersection of technology and relationships. And maybe you’ve wondered how to set some rules for yourself and your partner having it in mind that mixing love with the latest technology could be a bit cumbersome especially if you have some unexplainable attachment to your gadgets, and sometimes your partner’s. So, let’s look at some dos and don’ts of technology gadgets in a relationship.

  1. DO plug in your partner’s iPhone, Blackberry or computer in when you see the juice is low. That is kindness, it pays to be kind.
  2. DO share the joke with your spouse if you laugh out loud at something on your Blackberry or phone. You don’t want to be selfish.
  3. DO text and email your partner with the same care you did when you first started dating. E- Mails don’t take more than 2 minutes to send. If you have been sending each other online messages, it is not the time to stop. Make time to send sweet-nothings to each other over Facebook, BB, sms, and email especially if you were doing it regularly when you just started dating.
  4. DO upload new music to your partner’s iPod and new books to their kindle (If they have). If they like games on their iPad or tab, download interesting games for them. New tunes, books and games will be a sweet surprise when they see it, and it will show that you think of them and their interests all the time.
  5. DO give technology as a gift, but not for a romantic occasion. Note! If you need to charge it up, plug it in or program it, it probably doesn’t make for a good romantic anniversary present. Try one of those things Davido said his girl doesn’t want in “Aiye” for anniversaries and romantic occasions.
  6. DO have a discussion with your partner about what technologies are OK for big discussions. Personally, I don’t talk about serious issues on phone, I prefer to do in person, and my girl knows. But you and your partner might be fine discussing emotional topics via BBM or DM, just discuss it and make sure you are both fine with it.
  7. DO put away your Blackberry or phone on important occasions. Like when you have a rare date is some rare exotic locations, or you are discussing something very important. And ask your partner to do the same. If you have to pick your call or check your gadgets, take permission from your partner and tell them the level of importance.
  8. DO set a time limit for Internet surfing and BBM/Whatsapp chatting while you’re hanging out together. It can’t just be all about your virtual friends, when your partner is sitting right in front you in flesh and blood.
  9. DO save cute texts, email, voice-notes, and voicemails. Such memories are priceless.
  10. DO check again and again to confirm you have the right number/contact before you hit “send” button while sending raunchy sms/chat/photo. Or else your pastor or a random person might know your raunchy secret, and your pastor might call you for counseling and deliverance.

young man stealing information from womanDON’T use emoticons and/or tech lingo that you know annoys your partner. LOL/ROTFL can be annoying if your partner is telling you how shitty their day has been and how low their boss made them feel at work.

Now that we have the DOS, let’s check the DON’TS.

  1. DON’T exchange email passwords with your partner especially when your relationship is still very fresh and it is not yet defined, no matter how good of an idea it seems.
  2. DON’T hack into your partner’s email or phone to read their messages, just because you assume they are cheating on you – people kill people for this. Even snooping can get out of control.
  3. DON’T send flirty text messages or emails on your company’s device. Before long your director of IT will have a catalogue on you.
  4. DON’T browse while talking to your partner on the phone. You may think you’re a multi-tasking queen/king, but it’s distracting for both of you and it makes it seem like you only half-care about what they are talking about. You can always tell them you are in the middle of something very urgent, and ask for a few minutes to round off and get back on phone.
  5. DON’T bring up important topics in a medium that your partner is uncomfortable with. Don’t send BBM/ Whatsapp chat that you’re mad at him if he/she prefers to hear your voice.
  6. DON’T use emoticons and/or tech lingo that you know annoys your partner. LOL/ROTFL can be annoying if your partner is telling you how shitty their day has been and how low their boss made them feel at work.
  7. DON’T sound snobbish via technology, your partner cannot see your face, your voice will communicate your state of mind. While chatting, don’t just type “Fine! I’ll do it” try “Alright dear, I will get it done”
  8. DON’T bring tech to bed unless it is absolutely necessary. Like when you are both watching something raunchy on it before embarking on the journey to cloud 9.
  9. DON’T walk away before picking a call while your partner is there. They will suspect you of cheating and they would be right. Even if your side chic/assistant boyfriend calls you on the phone, and you must pick up, try to ‘code’ things. Pick and pretend the network is bad, and take permission from your partner to move away. (A sharp babe will follow you sha)
  10. DON’T take send nudes. If you think you must send, don’t include your face and any other part of your body that is easily recognizable. (Like the tattoo on your arm, the birthmark on your chest/thigh). Or else, you might just trend on twitter Nigeria someday.

So friends, do you have any other tech tips for relationships? Share them in the comment box and let’s talk.

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Chris Bamidele blogs at www. dgreatest2.wordpress.com

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Cali...

Singer, Britney Spears’ ex-boyfriend cheated with this porn star (LOOK)

by Akan Ido

TMZ is reporting that singer, Britney Spears may have dumped her boyfriend, David Lucado for having inappropriate relationships with a porn star.

According to the website, Spears called it quits after discovering her boyfriend was ‘chilling’ with adult filmstar, Cali Lee – a 5 foot, 96 pound Latina who’s been in the business since 2009.

Reports have it that Lucado and Cali may have met at a bar near Britney’s house.

The singer had announced on Twitter last Thursday that she had split from her boyfriend, whom she started dating in March last year, after video footage reportedly surfaced of him kissing and cuddling an unidentified woman.

Ruggedman and Katherine

Couple alert! What is going on between Katherine Edoho and Ruggedman? [DETAILS]

by Kolapo Olapoju

 

On Thursday, 4 September, Katherine Edoho, the ex-wife of Frank Edoho, was spotted on a movie date at the ‘Genesis deluxe’ cinema at the ‘Palms, Lekki, with Nigerian rap icon, Ruggedman.

Katherine, who has three children from her union with Frank, was seen sporting a short gown, while she stood alone at the terraces, until Ruggedman appeared in his trademark short dreadlocks and glasses, after which he led her to the screening hall.

The pair came to see the newly released ‘Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman’ science fiction flick, ‘Lucy’.

Katherine, who now works as an On-air-personality with Nigeria Info, was married for 10-years to Frank, who anchors game-show, ‘who wants to be a millionaire.’

In an interview she granted some time back, the broadcaster stated that any man who comes into her life would suffer, due to her inability to focus on a relationship.

If the pair’s outing is more than a friendly date, who knows, maybe she has now found the capacity to focus on relationships.

Ruggedman, on the other hand, has been single for what seems like an eternity. In the past, he was linked with Lux Ambassador/actress Laide Olaogun and 9ice’s ex-wife, Toni Payne.

In recent time, he has been linked to singer, Maheeda and actress, Monalis Chinda, after the pair modelled clothes from his ‘twentieth September’ fashion outfit.

The rapper has been busy of late, promoting his new singles, ‘Agidi and 8 figures’ with ‘Wande Coal and Reminisce’ respectively.

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When love fluctuates in your relationship, here’s what to do! – On #WeekendGroove with Damilola Jagun

by Damilola Jagun

Before you hastily rush to change your relationship status to ‘single’ or ‘in an open relationship’, why don’t you spare 10 minutes to read this piece, mull on it, and decide afterwards if you want fight, run or persevere.

Does love really fluctuate? I think it does, for me at least, and every other man I know.

Love tends to fluctuate over weeks, months, and years. Basically, over time. Even in one day or an hour, love can and does fluctuate.

The fluctuation does not mean that love disappears from the relationship. It is natural for love to fluctuate from time to time in human relationships, whether we want it or not, like it or not.

What do you do people, when love fluctuates? How do you react when the feelings of affection temporarily waivers?

How will you respond to the inevitable phenomenon called “fluctuation”? What will you do when sh*t hits the fan in your relationship?

Would you lock up shop and throw away the key? Would you quit trying and assume the relationship to be dead?

Would you run away, fret away like a scared chick, or stand and fight?

You say, “Oh, I’m not in love with you anymore. My feelings for you has changed, that is why I am divorcing you. I just know how I feel today is how I’m going to feel the rest of my life and I deserve to be happy.”

Wait a minute! Why not fight for your love, fight for your union together?

Scratch that! You don’t even have to fight. You don’t have to battle nothing to keep your relationship from going awry.

All you have to do is persevere, persevere, and persevere.

Patience and perseverance, – virtues we unfortunately have in short supply in our midst as humans – is the key to a lasting love affair.

It is common knowledge that patience which we lack is the key to the longevity of any relationship, and any association of any kind with anybody for that matter.

My friends, it’s as easy as that. A little patience, a little perseverance = a long solid relationship.

I know, it’s easier said than done. I know because i tell myself this all the time, and i know for a fact that patience and perseverance are virtues that are less inherent in the male gender, which i am unapologetically.

Women, on the other hand do try to persevere until they get filled with our crap, and like humans that they are, subsequently throw in the towel.

Love fluctuates, we panic, we get antsy, we scheme, we hatch plots, we get suspicious and paranoid, and we get worried. We do things to further worsen the temporary situation of ‘fluctuation’, when the most appropriate course of action would have been inaction.

Don’t do nothing, don’t stress, just chill.

Just a little patience, a little trust, a little understanding, ultimately, perseverance. Just because your partner’s head is not in the game doesn’t mean you should quit the match.

Just because he/she is probably distracted by issues that are quite more important and pressing than you at that point in time does not mean they are no longer interested, or in love with you. It’s just a little fluctuation.

Love- which we ignorantly do not realise-, like all things of our universe, is subject to change and the law of gravity, and it will most definitely change (fluctuate) from time to time.

Once we are armed with this knowledge, once we are ready to embrace this fact and stop being in denial about the phenomenon of fluctuation, relationships will last longer, love unions will blossom and flourish, marriages will fail less.